Culture

Tadtoy is Facebook for the bathroom

Technically Incorrect: Tadtoy says it wants to become the No. 2 social network. Yes, that's a quote.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


Charming.

Tadtoy/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

You might think that social media has sent humanity toward the toilet.

I have proof that you'd be correct.

For my life has just been disrupted by Tadtoy, which claims to be "the first social messaging platform designed exclusively for the bathroom."

I lurched onto its explanatory YouTube video and immediately plunged into numbness. For there were the words: "Taking a dump, thinking of you."

Would anyone really write this? Wouldn't everyone, in fact, think this whole thing is nothing more than toilet humor?

Mitch Roth, the app's co-founder, insisted it was all for real. He said there were already around 1,500 users. However, the app has been floating around for more than a year.

I approached him, you see, because of his delicious quote in a press release Tuesday: "Our goal is to be the No. 2 social network."

So only a billion users to go before it nears Facebook level.

The app, which is available for both iOS and Android, is designed to take advantage of your genuine leisure time.

To quote Roth again: "In this busy day and age, the bathroom is one of the final places of free time, and Tadtoy is primarily about using that time to connect with friends and family."

I will elide some of the app's finer features as I feel sure that, for some, this concept stinks.

Roth, though, told me: "We have a surprising amount of organic growth among groups of friends who like to Tadtoy each other every day."

Where would we be without organic growth?

He also offered me this user review: "I love this app. My friends are all on it, and we now all send Tadtoys instead of texting. We are always competing to see who has the most Pooints!"

It was written by someone with the initials C.M. (Not guilty, your honor.)

And, by the by, you really can earn pooints.

I feel sure that Mark Zuckerberg must be kicking himself for not having thought of it. I fancy he's already screaming at his staff to create a facsimile.

I cannot confirm that someone has already suggested the name "Facepook."