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Orange and T-Mobile big bang creates Everything Everywhere

The last time Germany and France were under one flag and promising world domination, it didn't go so well. This time, it's the peaceful T-Mobile and Orange merger

Phones

All energy and matter, in this universe and every other, is now part of T-Mobile and Orange's merger -- if you believe the mobile company's bombastic new name: 'Everything Everywhere'.

The company's pursuit of total ubiquity starts on 1 July, when all 16,500 UK employees of Orange and T-Mobile will officially become minions of the new omnipresence. That is, until some of them are made redundant.

The Orange and T-Mobile brands will still be around, so you won't see the name Everything Everywhere taking up your phone's whole screen. But you will get the advantage of a combined network that will offer users more coverage.

The company says T-Mobile and Orange customers will start seeing changes later this year, with free roaming across both networks. T-Mobile pink and Orange orange clash like the titans, so happily we won't see a horrific hybrid logo. High-street stores for the two brands will stay separate, as will their adverts.

The man with the best job title in the world is Tom Alexander, chief executive of Everything Everywhere. He told Reuters that Orange would emphasise its "premium element", while T-Mobile would focus on its "straightforward, value-orientated appeal".

One place where Everything Everywhere is still Nothing Nowhere is the Interwebs, where the Google search term is still p0wned by Gary Arndt's round-the-world travel blog

No news yet on whether Everything Everywhere will also exist at all times, or whether Everything is truly unlimited or has a fair-use policy. 

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