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Christmas Gift Guide
Culture

Merry Cthulhumas! Here's your tentacled wreath of doom

An experienced Lovecraft-inspired craft maker turns out a Christmas wreath that reaches its tentacles deep into the darkest parts of your soul.

cthulhuwreath.jpg
Cthulhu lies dreaming on your front door.Maika Keuben

The holidays aren't always full of candy canes, twinkling lights and the scent of fresh gingerbread wafting in the air. Sometimes they're full of half-man/half-fish creatures, scabrous tentacles clinging to your body and festering blobs of infinite malevolence. For times like these, you need to decorate accordingly. You need a Cthulhumas Wreath Creature.

Cthulhu Christmas tree
All hail, the Great Old One tree.Maika Keuben

Maika Keuben, co-editor of the Archie McPhee blog Geyser of Awesome, created the H.P. Lovecraft-inspired wreath. Archie McPhee is a retailer of bizarre novelties and strange toys, like horse-head masks and finger tentacles. Those finger tentacles played a big part in the creation of the unholy wreath, a process documented on Keuben's Imgur page, should you wish to follow in her increasingly paranoid footsteps.

You don't have to be a Lovecraft geek to enjoy the slimy, chilling impression the wreath gives off, like it just pulled itself out of the depths of the ocean, seeking to devour humanity. It also includes some Lego octopuses among the festively fetid decor.

When asked about her greatest challenges in creating the wreath, Keuben, clearly teetering on the edge of a Deep One-inspired insanity, told Crave:

The most challenging part of this project by far was the ever-present threat of madness looming over me. Strange things start to happen around the house when Cthulhumas approaches and I begin to gather my supplies. An unnatural breeze moves through the house even though all the doors and windows are shut. The cats begin to sleep with their eyes open and suddenly the tap water smells like the sea. So yes, trying to keep utter insanity at bay was a trial, as was using the hot glue. I burned my fingers more than a few times while attaching things to the wreath, but that may simply be one of the prices for getting crafty with ancient evil.

Keuben encourages other crafters to properly prepare before tackling any tentacle-y projects: "One can never have too many tentacles," she said. "My own prized cache has been growing for years and I'm always adding to it. Also, be sure to start practicing your eldritch incantations before you start working on the actual project. The chanting is a compulsory part of any Cthulhu-related undertaking and the Great Old Ones will not suffer any informal effort."

So go ahead, visit Innsmouth for the holidays, cook yourself up a Cthurkey, charter a flight to Antarctica and make a many-tentacled wreath to go with your many-tentacled Cthulhumas tree. If you're lucky, your efforts will appease the Great Old Ones and Cthulhu will spare you for another year. Happy holidays!