Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
I hold out despair for humanity.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Holding out hope, which I did for a very long time, brought limited results. I'm now going for a little reverse psychology. Which, in itself, is hopeful.
I'm brought to this by the news that Jesus has had his day.
Please, this is not my qualitative judgement. This is the era of data that gets bigger by the day.
May I direct you, therefore, to Google Trends. This infallible piece of technological machinery shows that Jesus has been overtaken by memes.
Those devilish memes began rising around 2011. They kept picking away at Jesus's supremacy. And, sometime around the end of August, they showed the Savior who's boss.
This was surely inevitable.
The internet's disciples sit all day at work, at school, and at a Starbucks near you, in desperate need of salvation.
For many years, they found it in a carpenter's son. Now they find it in silly GIFs posted by someone called Billy Carpenter in El Centro, California.
This startling news of God giving in to GIF came to me from a Twitterer called Quad. Celebrating this victory, Quad offered: WE DID IT PEOPLE. WE FUCKING DID IT. HOLY SHIT."
I'm moved that Quad thought this excretion of data was holy.
It shows that there's still a need for something more exalted than ourselves.
Because we've been beaten down by life, fears brought on by technology and Twitter trolls, we realize that we need protection, or, at least, distraction.
We turn therefore to the likes of Ken Bone.
Memes like him, if only for a moment, make us believe in the possibilities of joy, fame and even salvation brought to us by the powers of random.
I wouldn't suggest for a moment that Jesus and his followers struggle to help us make sense of it all. I would suggest, however, that their message hasn't kept up with our need for immediate succor.
So we bathe in Bad Luck Brian and Success Kid. Crying Michael Jordan is the modern-day equivalent of the stigmata.
We look for symbols that speak to us and, preferably, do a little dance or make a funny face.
Jesus wasn't made for the Twittersphere. He doesn't dance, he doesn't sing and he's never going to be a Caveman SpongeBob.
He clearly needs a social media manager.