Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
We need to talk trousers.
Specifically, we need to talk what sort of trousers you could get a PlayStation 4 inside.
I'm not playing with you. I'm relaying allegations against Christopher Caldwell, 36, of West Palm Beach, Florida.
As local crime reporter Will Greenlee says on his blog that Caldwell was arrested at Walmart in Port St. Lucie after allegedly shoving a PlayStation 4 down his pants and trying to make off with it.
Some of you will be familiar with the dimensions of one of these fine machines. The PlayStation 4 is 2.09" x 10.83" x 12.01." The box measures 19" x 13" x 4." It weighs around 6 pounds. With the greatest will and moxie, that's quite some box to slip down most people's pants.
But Greenlee insists Caldwell allegedly wasn't satisfied with just the PlayStation. He says in the affidavit records: "Christopher then began concealing the accessories into his pants as well."
He allegedly failed to pay for his haul and may now pay with his liberty. He was arrested for grand felony theft.
But back to the trousers.
Do you really believe he went MC Hammer, all baggy and shiny? Might he have merely donned some low slung and loose-fitting jeans? Might he simply have lost weight or have a pair of pants gifted to him that were far too large?
The Port St. Lucie Police report declares him to be wearing "a white shirt, blue jeans and a green fisherman hat." It adds that Caldwell allegedly removed the PlayStation from the box before inserting it into his trousers.
Clearly, one cannot condone wearing especially roomy pants to avail oneself of electronic entertainment. One also cannot condone wearing large hats to conceal iPhones or large, baggy jackets to conceal Xboxes or Surfaces.
Clothes should never be accomplices to criminal acts. Although when I look at passersby every day, I see it's impossible to prevent this.