The Internet will always have an endless supply of two things: trolls and jokes. That's in case America's presidential elections become more civilized and we need to tap into a backup stockpile to get our fix of both.
A recent trend on Facebook that started with one of the more infamous Internet trolling achievements of our time has turned into a long string of viral jokes featuring fake concert events for music acts at oddly appropriate venues.
The trend started with a fake posting for a Limp Bizkit concert at a gas station in Dayton, Ohio, that got so much traction, some fans started to believe it was a real show. Facebook user Brian Baker created a fake Facebook event back in April announcing that Fred Durst's nu metal band would perform a secret show at a Sunoco gas station on April 20 (aka 4-20). Baker also set the year for the Facebook event page to 2017, but that didn't stop the Internet from wanting to believe that a show that wasn't even real in the first place was actually scheduled for this year.
The event got so much viral attention and local and national news coverage that the Dayton Police Department had to issue a statement to the local press and on its Twitter page on April 19 that there would be no Limp Bizkit concert. Even Durst himself posted a Tweet confirming that he would not be in Dayton on the day in question or pulling into the gas station for a tank of gas or a box of Ho Hos.
That still didn't stop a crowd of 100 Limp Bizkit fans from going to the Sunoco and chanting "Fred! Fred! Fred!" in front of the station. The station had to close up for the night and police were called to the scene to disperse the crowd.
Since then, other Facebook users decided to try their luck at tricking the more gullible people on the Internet into going to concerts that don't exist. So they've continued the trend by posting more fake concert events. Here are some of our favorites, and just so this is absolutely clear, none of these are scheduled concerts. They are fake and for nonmusical entertainment purposes only. So, if you see an invitation announcing that Vanilla Ice will be at a Baskin-Robbins in your neighborhood, the chances are better that he will be there because he's an employee.
Imagine that you're enjoying a lovely Sunday brunch with your Mom for Mothers' Day or her birthday and a bunch of clowns with horror-pop makeup storm in the place while screaming what may or may not be music. The moment would be downright terrifying, whether they're a gang of Juggalos robbing the place at gunpoint or the Insane Clown Posse performing some of their original songs.
Chances are you've reached a pretty low point in your life if you're eating at an Olive Garden. So imagine how much better you'd feel if rapper and Cash Money Records co-founder Birdman walked through the door and started spouting off some of his famous rhymes right in front of your endless basket of breadsticks.
There are so many bands that could put on an appropriate show at a YMCA: Blood, Sweat & Tears, OK Go, Meghan Trainor. However, none of them would be more appropriate and inappropriate at the same time as this band-venue pairing.
It's hard to imagine a scenario where Jack White would ever walk into a fast-food establishment. He's so proud of indie cred that just walking into a McDonald's or Burger King would make the universe collapse on itself from sheer confusion. So maybe we should be thankful that this concert will never come to fruition.
This one makes me sad that Radio Shack is very close to disappearing off the face of the Earth. And that's saying something when you're talking about listening to the maudlin music of rock's most popular aural downer.
Finally, if you thought the idea of going to a gas station to watch Limp Bizkit was sad, just imagine being the opening act for such a depressing moment in music. There's only one man worthy of that job.