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I tried the Cyberpunk 2077 beers so you don't have to

I do the hard work at Gamescom 2018.

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Andrew Hoyle/CNET

Cyberpunk 2077 was the hit of E3 in June and it's no surprise that the game also had a huge presence at this year's Gamescom. What I didn't expect to see inside the giant booth was a themed bar, adorned with artwork from the game and featuring a range of custom Cyberpunk beers.

I decided it was only right for me to drink my way through them and report back so you wouldn't have to worry about doing this hard work yourself.

You're welcome.

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Andrew Hoyle/CNET

It began with a bottle of "Broseph" that styles itself as a "Night City pilsner" -- Night City being the major city in the game. In a tall bottle with a cartoon rendition of one of the game's characters on the front, this classic pilsner was easy to drink and not too hoppy. A standard, if not unforgettable, lager, not unlike a San Miguel or a Pilsner Urquell. Time to move on.

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Andrew Hoyle/CNET

Next up was the Weizenbier, named 'FCK DRM' after the game developer's apparent distaste for digital rights management. This wheaty beer in its stubby brown bottle had a sour note running through it, which I wasn't struck on. Have you ever had a sour beer? They're foul and as far as I'm concerned have no place in any kind of drinking establishment. Perhaps this is the dystopian future Cyberpunk sees ahead; one where good drinking is all about not pulling a lemon face every time you sip on your pint. FCK DRM white wasn't a full-blown sour, but it was enough to put me off.

At 4.8 percent, the beer was reasonably strong and by the end I was starting to feel the effects. I had only 20 minutes in the bar before being taken through to see the actual game, so time was against me. I had to act fast if I was going to complete this important piece of investigative journalism.

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Andrew Hoyle/CNET

I drained the Weizenbier and moved on to its sibling, the "FCK DRM Oktoberfestbier". At 5.8 percent this was the strongest of the beers, but also the most drinkable. It was a dark beer, with notes of chocolate and coffee, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, relishing the way it masked the sour taste of the previous brew. 

Still only half past one in the afternoon, it was perhaps a bit too early to be this buzzed from promotional beverages. I knew I had a 50 minute briefing ahead of me and I was seriously starting to doubt my abilities to get through it without falling asleep. So, I had no choice but to move on and try the final drink in the bunch.

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Andrew Hoyle/CNET

Ciderpunk, as the name suggests, isn't a beer but a cider. Now I like cider. Proper cider. The sort of cider I'd find when exploring the country roads of Somerset in Southwest England when you buy scrumpy cider by the gallon jar from a man in a grubby overcoat whose country accent is far too strong to understand. 

What cider is not, for me, is that horrendously sugary, fruity nonsense served up in a glass full of ice for people who've forgotten what apples are. Luckily, Ciderpunk leans more toward the former than the latter. It isn't sweet and, like the label, which includes two words I'm not allowed to write here, it has an edge. 

By the end of this 6.5 percent bottle I was feeling pretty great, and thoroughly convinced that this article would be the one that finally snags me the Pulitzer. All I had to do now was get through the actual day's back-to-back briefings, meetings and hands-on sessions and make it back to my hotel room for a well-earned nap.

For more from this year's Gamescom 2018, keep your eyes on our Gamescom hub.

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