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A cynical take: How Apple made the iPhone worse

Technically Incorrect: College Humor parodies the iPhone 7 launch by suggesting that Cupertino did something revolutionary: made the phone worse.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


Black humor? Or jet black humor?

College Humor/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

The iPhone 7 is less of an update and more of a, well, downdate.

It looks like the iPhone 6. It feels like the iPhone 6. And it works pretty much like the iPhone 6.

How could Apple manage to sell it?

As far as College Humor is concerned, it was simple. The company decided that the magical, revolutionary thing about iPhone 7 is that it just isn't as good as the iPhone 6.

"With the iPhone 7, we've done something that at first seems counter-intuitive, and that is," whispers a passable Jony Ive impersonator in the parody video posted Thursday. "We've made it worse."

Some Apple fans might find all this humor a little black. Or even jet black.

However, the faux-Ive needs to explain how iPhone 7 fits into the Apple tradition.

"Apple has always pioneered sleek, beautiful design. Which is why you'll fucking hate a literal parade of dongles you need to plug it into anything as or more complicated than a doughnut," he says.

Faux-Ive begins to express his frustrations more fully when he appeals to users: "What else do you want a phone to do?"

Indeed, he seems to have given up on making the iPhone better and instead created a new array of products such as the iPod Brickle. (Watch the video. It's a great product.)

The video's version of Apple CEO Tim Cook admits he's a little scared of Ive these days. The suggestion is that Apple's head of design has rather lost his marbles.

By the end, you'll believe this could be true.

It would certainly, some might muse, explain those very strange earrings he's just designed.