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Granny gets world's fastest broadband; I get pipe envy

Apologies if you're a DivX junkie, Mrs Lothberg, but I can't see you downloading anything other than a 35Kb email attachment or browsing simplyknitting.co.uk with your 40Gb connection

Life's not fair sometimes. There I was at home, enjoying my 8Mb HomeChoice broadband (now known as Tiscali TV) when I get an IM from a friend, tearing my world apart. He pointed me to a news story about a 75-year-old granny with the fastest broadband connection in the world -- a 40Gb link.


My, what a large toaster!

As it happens, this granny is mother of Swedish internet 'legend' Peter Lothberg. He hooked her up to demonstrate how to build a low-price high-capacity line over long distances. But am I impressed? No -- I'm virtually swimming in treacle with my 8Mb connection and she's got a line that can download a DVD in the blink of an eyelid.

I'm jealous, hurt and angry because this granny almost certainly won't make the most of it. Apologies if you're a DivX junkie, Mrs Lothberg, but I can't see you downloading anything other than a 35Kb email attachment, or browsing simplyknitting.co.uk.

8Mb really isn't a good look any more. I want a connection that can download the entire Internet in one sitting. If there are any ISPs looking for high-speed broadband guinea pigs, sign me up. I don't care what it takes -- I'll wear a pinny, bake you cookies and even buy you socks at Christmas if I have to.