Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
You surely remember the.
How could you not? This highly necessary device was created to help you take finer pictures of your bottom.
It was the creation of On.com, a social media platform that I'm sure is wonderful to the degree that I've never heard of it. It exists so that you can express yourself visually. Because on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter you do no such thing.
Still, the Belfie Stick creators have delved into their trove of data to learn more about the visual world, especially that of self-visualization.
Naturally, this analysis of 50,000 On.commers over a four-month period (not yet available online) should be taken with a pinch of Lot's wife. However, one statistic beamed out at me like a beacon of unexpected glory: the East Coast creates twice as many selfies as the West.
I had thought, with Los Angeles on the West Coast and the hidden truth that San Francisco is even more egotistical than LA, that the West Coast would be selfie heaven.
It seems, though, that for all the rectitude and alleged hard-nosed sense that emerges from the east, its people's need for self-justification knows few bounds.
I imagine that in Washington, D.C., there are some who simply post selfies all day. They're mostly in Congress. I also imagine that in New York there is still a bonfire of the vanities that soars above anything the kale-sniffing hikers of the west can muster.
Other findings in the study were also quite pulsating. If you want to get "likes," and, Lordy, what kind of paean are you if you don't, then you should post on Wednesday between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. local time. Yes, the grumps of hump day seem to find excessive generosity near its end.
And here's the most stunning figure: photos with women in them get almost 6 times the "likes" than photos with men. I find this arresting, because I thought it would be nearer 100 times more. Women, according to this study, only take twice the number of photos as do men.
Men, as I know from my own experience, aren't liked much at all. Indeed, photos with no people in them get slightly more likes than photos with men in them.
What professions might you imagine take the most selfies? This survey says it's people working in the medical and legal fields. Oh dear, oh doctor.
I will leave you now to try and either redress the national selfie balance single-handed or move to the west coast to relieve your ego of some burden.
I did happen to ask, though, what had happened with the Belfie Stick. It always struck me as a marketing wheeze, rather than a real product.
An On.com spokesman told me: "We never expected the volume of response that we received and are still in the process of getting all the logistics together."
Should it ever see the light of day, I wonder which side of America will take more bottom selfies? On this evidence, it seems clear.