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Sci-Tech

Bride dumps groom over his math incompetence

Technically Incorrect: If you think that 15 plus 6 is 17, you are not worthy of this bride in Uttar Pradesh, India.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


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If numbers be the food of love, this groom starved. TyYann/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Love can be calculating.

I fancy, though, that it would be no bad thing for your spouse to at least have rudimentary math skills.

There's little worse than your loved one taking the joint credit card, blowing it at some fancy hotel in St. Louis and afterward saying: "But it was only $400 a night. So three nights was $600 total."

One Indian bride decided that her intended's incompetence at math wasn't lovely at all. For she was lovely herself and she had certain ideas of what her loveliness warranted. As the BBC reports, even her name was Lovely.

She had set him a simple math problem. She asked him what 15 plus 6 equaled.

I fear she must have had suspicions. I fear she set such a relatively easy problem because she knew that her intended, Ram Baran, wouldn't have the answer.

Well he did have an answer. The only trouble was that it was 17. Which meant that her answer to one of life's deepest existential question was: "I don't."

Hell math no fury like a woman who feels scorned by her husband's alleged numerical illiteracy.

The drama occurred in the Uttar Pradesh province. Police reportedly tried to intervene between the two families in this arranged marriage. But to no avail.

I find myself transfixed by Ram Baran's name, as his last name is the Polish word for ram. To me, he is therefore Ram Ram.

However, in this tale, he was merely a sheep in (third-grade) mathematician's clothing.

I hope that each of these young people finds their true love, or at least their perfect arrangement.

And I hope that before the wedding they make a firm decision as to who is responsible for their joint finances.