people eh? Flouncing around with their fancy handsets and their fancy mobile games like they're cock of the walk! We've had enough. We've rustled up a selection of tasty iPhone alternatives for the discerning lady or gentleman, which should put paid to those cackling iUrchins.
All these games are available for free download (although some have paid-for versions with more levels or no ads) from the Android Marketplace, so just search for them from your Android device to get installin'
Everyone with an ounce of sense loves Canabalt for the iPhone, the roof-leaping game that offers moody backdrops, intuitive gameplay and brilliant music. But if you want a roof-leaping adventure with a little more colour and a great deal more quiffery, you can't go wrong with City Jump.
City Jump sees players running vertically up the wall of an improbably tall building. Tap the screen to leap boldly across to the opposite wall and avoid obstacles. Potted plants, flying enemies and all manner of nasties can be dispatched by hitting them mid-jump, so timing is the name of the game. It's not as slick as Canabalt, but when your iPhone friends whip out their JesusPhones and start showing off, you can don a cape, shout something brave and kick them in the abdomen. Then play City Jump because you're a hero.
This one's a shameless rip-off, but that never stopped us before. Air Control Lite is almost identical to Flight Control, but it's on Android.
If you ever turned green with envy watching iPad or iPhone owners nimbly navigating planes safely on to the runway (our very own Flora Graham is a particularly skilled flight controller) you'll know how Air Control works. Planes appear from the sides of the screen, and you must use the touchscreen to draw a safe path to guide them to the correct landing zone. Just like in real life, you lose if you cause two planes to collide in mid-air. Air Control is smooth and very nearly as slick as Firemint's original title, and apart from a few ads and fewer airstrips to play with, the free version is just as good.
So you fancy demolishing some brightly coloured pegs eh? we don't blame you -- with its oversaturated unicorns and Ode to Joy joyfulness, the casual masterpiece Peggle from PopCap is arguably the best thing in the world ever. Ever.
Well, there is a pachinko (the traditional game that inspired Peggle and its peg-bursting ways) game on the Android marketplace. It's called Peggy, and while it moves pretty smoothly, it looks and feels slightly primitive. A decent effort, but if you whip out this game near any Peggle Grand Masters (a rank achieved twice over by one of our team) they're more likely to scoff at you than bow down before you and your superior Android device.
Like matching three jewels of a kind? Then you'll love Bejeweled -- the furiously addictive game from the geniuses behind Peggle. Android lovers can't yet get PopCap's match-up puzzle game on their handsets, but don't worry because there are about a thousand imitators eager to steal your precious, precious attention.
They're all pretty much the same game, but we like the simplicity of Jewels. It's an unimaginatively titled clone, but it's a good one, and offers some decent puzzling kicks. Your job is to switch the position of two adjacent jewels in a grid to make three identical jewels in a row. If you succeed, they'll vanish, with more falling from the top of the screen to replace them, and your points increase. Lather, rinse and repeat.
Hungry Shark Free
Smart phones these days are rammed full of cool hardware designed to make gaming more fun, and we've seen some really cool games like Tilt to Live taking advantage of the iPhone's built-in accelerometer.
Hungry Shark (developed by a team right here in London) lets you tilt your phone in order to navigate a hungry shark around an ocean full of delicious fish and even more delicious humans out for their morning swim. Surprisingly violent, you'll be chomping your way to massive scores in no time. Next time your friend whips out their iPhone, grab it, bite down hard on it, shattering the screen, then explain to them that Hungry Shark is responsible.
They might then come back and point out that Hungry Shark is also available on the iPhone App Store. But if you're lucky they'll just punch you in the face.
Thanks to AndroLib for the screenshots.