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A gun that squirts molten metal? Certainly, sir

Commentary: You might be fascinated by the aggressive uses to which science can be put. I'm more moved by the fruit that resists it.

 Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


watermelon

And the watermelon says calmly: "Go on. Take your best shot."

TheBackyardScientist/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Be the watermelon.

That's my life advice. 

Stay more or less rounded. Have a thick skin. And only let people in when they've worked out how to access your juicier parts with precision and subtlety. 

As my evidence, I present a video in which a man makes a squirt gun that shoots molten metal at various items.

The Backyard Scientist created this gun, as he creates many other items of destruction

Many of the more than 1 million people who have watched the YouTube video so far might be moved by how he buys cheap pewter, melts it down, pours the molten result into a gun and shoots.

Whoopy-whee, it destroys glass. 

It even wrecks one of the pewter jugs that he bought for the purpose, with the gun's creator speaking blithely of entry and exit wounds.

Yet, at around the 5 minutes into the video, the watermelon stands on its pedestal, lets him fire away and takes the heat in its stride.

The only result is an almost heart-shaped scar on its skin.

"It didn't do a lot to that watermelon," complains the shooter. 

And the watermelon mutters (in my head): "Nevertheless, I persisted."

So as you perform your compulsory meditation or mindfulness exercises at your tech company, think not of anything but this watermelon.

Technology wants to do things to you. It wants to show you who's boss. It wants to pierce you and reveal your innards.

But you are that watermelon. Keep your skin thick and let it all roll off your front.