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The 404: The 404 1,497: Where we waste a perfectly good dimension
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The 404: The 404 1,497: Where we waste a perfectly good dimension

40:29 /

An app that warns you about fart-inducing foods, a Tinder for frisky senior citizens, why you shouldn't waste money on 3D movies, and a taste test of Doritos's new "404" flavored chips!

It's Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014. I'm Ariel Nunez and from CBS Studios in New York City, welcome to The 404. [MUSIC] What's up everyone? Thanks for tuning in to The 404 Show. I'm Jeff Bakalar. We've got so much to do today in such, in so little time. Plenty of stories today. Really good followup to yesterday's WWDC wrapup. We have a bunch of emails concerning some of the details from yesterday's show and we'll get to that. We'll get to what we can. Mm. I'm very excited because today we have not one but two items to to taste test for the listening audience. For the audio listeners. We have a fine selection of confectionaries. The first, the people at Oreo. I don't know what it is, they love us. They sent us to that personally? Yeah, they did. It wasn't a person that saw it [COUGH]. No, it's because you wanna know why, friend? It came in an Oreo box. No, it's because these are not available yet. No. Yeah, this is like embargoed food here, okay? So you're not allowed to eat these yet. We can eat them right now. These are Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Oreos. Right, so you have Nabisco teaming up with, who the hell makes Reese's? I don't know, Mars? [NOISE] No, Hershey, Hershey makes Reese's. Teaming up finally, finally, [LAUGH] The partnership's real. The dream collab right there. [LAUGH] Yeah, hell yeah, it's Oreo featuring peanut butter cups,. Uh-huh. And then. We had two separate people send this in DJ and Jose sent us in the test flavor jacked. We have two bags of this. There another one in the conference room? Yeah. So it's 40 test flavor 404 How could we not? So a lot of people have been sending us emails about how they're using the number we have copy right rights to. Yeah. So we'll let this one slide and hopefully we'll be able to figure out what the hell the flavor is. So all these fine taste test I'll rate you later on in the show. I'm very excited. We have no idea how this 404 flavor is going to taste. No. And the best thing about Doritos is if you read the ingredients it doesn't give away any clue because it's all just. It's science. All stuff you shouldn't be putting in your body. It all just came out of like a test tube. Oh. Monosodium glutamate is like the fourth item on this list. Oh, cool. My favorite. Must taste like, you know, I don't know. Blue. It tastes like blue, so. That'll be fun to check out. I'm, I'm at, I'm anxious. You know, I kinda know what I'm getting with the Oreo Mm-hm. peanut butter. No idea what I'm getting with Doritos. Nevertheless, we'll get some stories right now. And we'll be on our way. Just let the earthquake settle, Oh my God. [LAUGH] let it settle. Then we'll be, we'll be on our way. Now we've got some good stories in the run down today. Stories that kinda go along with the food. So, we'll wait until the second half to get to that. Okay. But, er, we're gonna start with an app that will warn you when you're about to eat. Food that makes me fart. So I'd imagine if we had that up right now, It would probably going off like crazy. The alarms would be real. Yeah, how many times would cheesy Doritos don't exactly make you feel great at all. Then we'll talk about a bunch of lonely seniors. Kind of a sad story, actually. A bunch of lonely seniors are finding love on a Tinder for old people called stitch. Okay. Then we'll continue the Tinder stories about a fake tender profile that popped up this week that's warning dudes to get their prostrates checked. That's where you want to hear health advice, right? On Tinder? No, I, yeah, I mean you, you know, all right we'll talk about that. And then, I actually read this article today. It popped up into my feed and it was about, why you shouldn't be wasting money on 3D movies. Yes. Come to find out it was written by this guy over here. When did you start writing editorials for CNET? I, you know. Like, seven years ago. Really? Yeah. I mean. No one ever read, read them. I had no idea. And then I realized like, hm. I just got to start yelling. Yeah. And pissing people off. And. From the annals of CNET. It's like, it was like the best story I've ever done. Successful, traffic wise. Yeah. It was written in a very. Very casual, conversational, which I like. Sure. So we'll ask you, I'll ask you, [LAUGH] why do you hate 3D movies so much? I think I agree too. They suck. Hopefully I remember. Okay. [LAUGH] Yeah they suck. And then, if we have time, we'll get to a story about some of the underpublicized IOS 8 gems that we didn't get to talk about yesterday because. Well then, talk about it on stage.>>Right on I will tell you some of the secret stuff that you get with the new upgrade. Great. All right, take it away. Though, this is funny. I mean, we talk about a lot of health on this show. Even yesterday, Apple introduced their new health book, right? Their health book? Is that what it's called? I don't think so. It's not called Health book? Health kick. health kit, right right. There's no book on that, No did you see it on Facebook or anything like for your health. It is about time we talked about nutrition and nutrition and health Apps. The fact that processed foods, stuff like this, with preservatives and too much corn syrup and sugar. No, this isn't, this isn't processed. No, that's fine. That's natural and organic. No, that's unprocessed. Yeah. [LAUGH] Those can have serious dietary effects on your stomach. Yeah. That's no surprise by now. Bad news. And, you're going to get a lot of digestive issues if you eat like a college kid all the time. And. But that's why there's college. That's why there's college. You get that out of your system. Right. And you, and you're at the age where your body can withstand it. Right. It can take the beating. Yeah [LAUGH] it's like a rubber band. Right. You're fine. Just comes back, everything's like sucked back in after four years. Well, after awhile when you get to be our age, you tend to see the effects of that, and unfortunately. You tend to pay for it. Paying for it means gas. So, if you're getting gaseous after a meal, it's a pretty clear indicator that you're not eating well. So how do you know? Is it, is it an indicator that you're not eating well, or that your stomach just hates everything? Or, yeah, it's either that you're not eating well, you're eating like ****, or you have something like lactose intolerance that you developed as an adult. Yeah. You need to check your diet. Interesting. But how do you know which foods are gonna make you fart? Yeah. Well, you stay away from the obvious things like what? Beans, cabbage. Are beans really like a thing though? Or is that just like joke? Yeah. No, that's definitely real. I mean,. You should know this personally, right? What? Nevermind. Oh. And then, any of the, any of the foods that have sulfur in it are really the ones you wanna avoid. So, cauliflower, some nuts can really make you fart bad. But anyway, Let me know how. For the foods that you don't know will make you fart, there's a new App that'll help you sort of look at that. It's called Fart Code. It could have made it sounds a little bit more professional than that. I think so, right? [CROSSTALK] What the hell? Like flatulence radar or something that. Yeah, yeah. Fart code seems so MTV-ish. [LAUGH] Fart code. I adhere to the Fart Code. [LAUGH] This new App, it basically helps you discover which foods will make you fart by letting you scan bar codes at the grocery store, so it's really a preemptive thing, right? [CROSSTALK] Oh nice. You're in the store, you're walking down the aisle. You see the Doritos jacked bag and you're like is this really what I need? Should I really be eating this? And is my partner gonna be pissed after? See, it's cool though because you can use it as a defensive and an offensive mechanism. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. I'm going to see my in-laws today. Lets spice things up a little bit. Oh its a weapon. Yeah. Weaponize your your food. You could use it either way. So the idea that they're helping kids and adults to really learn how to eat healthier by seeing sweets you should be avoiding so you know before you buy those Brussel sprouts you can actually scan with fart code. Yeah but you should be eating Brussel sprouts. Yeah its a good things. Maybe you shouldn't be eating. Look, there's good fat and bad fat, there's good farts there's bad farts. Right. So you know, to each it's own. It's about to make your farts smell real good, Dude they're so good though and they're back. Brussel sprouts are back in a big way. Yeah. They're everywhere right now. They're great. So good, how do you cook yours? I usually just put them in the- You gotta cut them in half. Yeah, cut them in half, right. Put a little parmesan cheese on there. Yeah. A little red pepper, oregano. Extra virgin olive oil? Yes. A dash to keep it interesting? Mm-hm. Don't overcook them though because overcooked brussel sprouts are the worst. Yeah, they're the worst. Anyway, so the. Food, that were, the, the offenders that we're talking about. Those were all pre-chosen by nutritionists and doctors for fart code. They hired a bunch of doctors and now there's a list. So, anytime, the food that you scan, if it appears on this list, you'll get an alarm. Telling you that maybe you shouldn't buy that. Yeah. So that includes like cheeses. Man, that, this is the greatest. This feels like a Beavis and **** like short animated skit. Yeah, we're looking at the promo movie they put out for it. It's pretty great. << How many times do you think the average human farts a day? << Oh, I could tell you this. << Because look I have a number here but I don't believe it. << I know, I'm not trying to be funny about it because I just, I do a lot. Anyone who like knows me knows that it's like a thing. << Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and raise my hand for that one. << I would say the average person is like 15. << Okay, what do you think Ariel? How many farts a day? Yeah. I wanna say like, 20. 20? Yeah. Well, that's only five more. Yeah. We're in the same ballpark. Yeah, I agree. I wanna ask Obviously the only reason why you guys are saying these numbers is because this is how many times you guys fart a day. Hold on. You all need to check your diet. That's very true. Twenty times a day is not a lot. [CROSSTALK] Are you all just eating raw meat during the day,>>Wait so ladies and gentlemen we have an intern in the studio, today his names Justin he doesn't have a mic but we can wave to him sort of, hi Justin, how many times a day do you think sir? Twice an hour. Twice an hour. For 48 times. Jesus Christ. 48. [LAUGH] This is like the Price is Right, but [CROSSTALK] with farts. Yeah. what, so what's your, well, you're compromised. But, but the answer is 14 farts a day. I know. You nailed it. Are you kidding me? And what the hell's wrong with you Justin? [LAUGH]. 48. That's right. Justin is in college. Good answer. Brilliant. [LAUGH] brilliant. I have no excuse. [LAUGH] Yeah. No he said 20, that's, [CROSSTALK] That's in the fourth [CROSSTALK]. I guess, there could be more. Dude, that's. 14 Is the average some days you'll have eight, some days you'll have seven, you know? Depends what you ate the night before really. So. Exactly, it is weird i do seem to have a window that is a issue for me. And it's like six pm till midnight is my. Is my issue time.>> Or right when you wake up. No. [LAUGH]. Or one second that you're awake. [LAUGH] Oh my God. All right, great. I don't know how much longer we can talk about this. What? Farts? Farts, yeah. Fhats, or as I like to call it fhats, Yeah, you put an H in there. So, that's farting, yeah. [LAUGH] So, let's get to the taste test. [LAUGH] We gotta, we can't transition that, after this. No, we got to save this. This is the headline. Okay, all right. We'll talk about Tinder. Okay. You want to talk about fake Tinder or real Tinder for old people. You choose. I wanna to do the, the old people. And, I also wanna. This is all gonna lead into something, an idea I had this weekend. Okay, actually, let's skip, I'm sorry, let's skip to the fake Tinder account. Sure, whatever you want to do. because it kind of goes with health. And believe it or not, June is actually Men's health awareness month. Oh. So, all month we'll be spotlighting tips on how our male listeners should keep their health in check. Right, tips. Yeah. So that's why we did the first story. And the second one is, also, about your health. So men, they have a tendency to wait a little bit too long to go see a doctor. And we've talked about that on this show, before because, I think, you're one of those dudes. You're always like, oh yeah, I have this rash but I'll wait like, a year, to go and check it out. [LAUGH] No, you're exaggerating. Or illness. [CROSSTALK] Viruses. You should maybe wait like a week or something. Right. But most men tend to wait a little bit too long. I think if you, if, in a week, you'll know if your body's gonna take care of it. Right. Or if your body won't take care of it and you need some sort of medicinal intervention. Right, right, and that's when the doctors come into play. Right. But obviously, you know, some problems are bigger than others, and, as many get older, we should be going to check ourselves for very serious things like prostate cancer, for example. Okay. What is the, what is the age that you should start getting annual prostate exams? I believe 40. Uh-oh. Yeah. [LAUGH] Don't look at me, man. [LAUGH] oh. REO's not 40. I'm getting close, but I don't even wanna think about that, man. Let me see that certificate, REO. What was your last [INAUDIBLE] Hold on, I have a latex glove here. That's funny. We were talking about this yesterday, [UNKNOWN] [LAUGH] I'm, I'm horrible with seeing the doctor too, man. Now what does, now what does that mean? Like if I'm sick or something, I'll just like, sleep it off, or, you know. Or if something's bothering me, I'll, I'll push it off for a long time. That's fine though, only if, you know, there's something that. You know, if there's something that's, like, reccuring and it doesn't get better, then you go. Yeah, I have the sniffles, I can wait a week or something. Yeah, you could, you'll be fine. But, like, if you, you know, something's happening, something's a different color, you're bleeding in places you've never bled. Perhaps [CROSSTALK] Don't take an ambulance ride but, get yourself checked out. Right. Fine line between ambulance. Right. And emergency room, sure. So as uncomfortable as it may be, prostate exams, very necessary for our older listeners for sure. And early detection can save lives, right? Absolutely. So, to help these two advertising students named Vince Map and Coby Spear, they created a fake Tinder profile with the name nurse Nicole. Okay. And, You know, this kind of profile, they really filled it out with a fake stock image. It's a completely fake stock image. Yeah. If you were really trying to troll a guys to go in and get check ups. I'd be able to go with clip art. At least make a convincing profile picture. Sure. But, what we're looking at here is nurse Nicole is carrying a clip board, and she's in scrubs and everything. Completely fake. But the idea is that, yeah, they're messaging users. And, and getting matches. With the, with the intention of getting guys to go in and get checkups. Okay. For prostate exams. Looks like you were having a conversation with her. [LAUGH] [INAUDIBLE] Sure. [LAUGH] So, for some reason, I don't know why. But this Jezebel article picked an example. Having a conversation with a guy named Justin. Yeah. Very common name these days. Sure, sure. It's all part of a program called Matches for Men's Health, all right, and it starts how all things start on Tinder by swiping to the right. [CROSSTALK] Can we roleplay here a little bit? yeah, yeah, yeah, so the idea is that the guys will swipe, any guy that swipes. As a match with nurse Nicole here. We'll get a chance to interact with the bot. And that's exactly what it is. It's a fake computer program that, you know, creates fake conversations. But not all guys know this. Right, they play along. Which is why this is funny and which why they've created a tumbler profile, or tumbler page called matches for men's health. Cause not everyone is smart enough to know that they're talking to a bot. If you want to role play, we can do that Yeah, you play Justin Oh man Okay, here we go, so all the messages start off super creepy. And that's really what the highlight of the story is, how lame guys are on line dating. I wouldn't know. Start's with, 'You could have just told me creepy guys finish last, is that true?" Can't really say, but I know if you have high cholesterol, you'll probably finish early. I didn't know that, is that true? I guess so. Is that also how you think girls sound? [LAUGH] Well, like fake robot girls. Robot girls. Whoo, close one, I only have high blood pressure. That just means my heart is an overachiever. [LAUGH] [CROSSTALK] You should make sure the rest of your body is overachieving by visiting menshealthmonth.org smiley face hashtag. All right, so that's. So dumb. That's it's an interesting sort of you know. Social experiment. Grass roots campaign. The best one. Smart though. The best one is the guy that opens up with hey you ready for a baby oil massage? Oh my god. Which I imagine works for a ton of girls [CROSSTALK] Oh my Jesus. And she's like are you ready for your yearly prostrate exam? The guy thinks that she's like teasing him or something. He's like. Yeah, I would love to have my prostate massaged. She's like well before I massage you, you should get it checked out by a health professional and then she just links in to matches for menshealth.com, then signs off. I'm pretty sure the age. That is a tease, yeah. I'm pretty sure the age to get a yearly checkup is 40. It is Oh, you researched that. Okay good. All right, R.E.L. let us know how it goes. I'm not there yet, man, getting close, remind me in a few years. Oh, you're not there yet. Yeah. [LAUGH] Until your first time. Yeah. I know. No, God. It's amazing. If it, if it counted by how old you look, you'd be in great shape. Well, thank you. Well, everyone over 30 should definitely be getting a physical every year. Sure. I feel like any, any person should be getting a physical every year. That I don't do. That I do like every two. Yeah Yeah. Yeah. You're married, you're not stepping out too much. Well, in that form no sure You're good. All right, so next Tinder story, right? Man so, I'm going to start this story with a really depressing statistic. But it really frames the story well. All right. Brace yourself, this is going to be really sad. There's' a silver lining to everything I'm glad you mentioned silver, because we're talking about old people here Silver alert According to a study. The number one killer of people over 65 is loneliness. That's sad. Now everyone breath out. That is not quantifiable. That is really sad. How is that a measurable thing? Well, cause they correlate social isolation with a sooner onset of things like dementia, and things like that. Right, but like The mind can really help you get over things. Well, there's an amazing. And says statistic about people who lose their, you know, in your elder years, if you lose your, your spouse. Right. You tend to [CROSSTALK] The, you, you do, your odds of dying within like five years are that much higher. [LAUGH] So. That's the end of the show. Yeah, good night everybody, sweet dreams. But it's not a lie. No matter how bleak a statistic it is. And to help, there's a new App called Stitch which is the silver lining we're talking about here. It's an App that really lets old people use Facebook and social media in a way, Help seniors find love. Is an online dating service, just for people over 65 years old. [CROSSTALK] A Tinder, for seniors. Should be something, more clever. yeah, it does imply that something was broken before. No, that'd be Crutch, maybe. Must mean stitched together? I don't know where they got that name. I wantna, I wanna where's, I, there needs to be a funnier, more appropriate, name-. Yeah. For an elderly love social media service. Yeah, let us know if you guys have any ideas for what it should be called. Yeah. Maybe silver lining. Yeah, the silver lining dot com. Done, figured it out. So, sure though right? They sort of, the premise of this website is that. You know, your social network really starts to shrink. Your social, your real life social network starts to shrink as you get older. Oh right, right. But perhaps by nature people moving away or you know, dying [LAUGH]. And it, your social network gets smaller, it starts to shrink. And, you know, you get more responsibilities and that just tends to happen. Sure. All right, so, this online dating thing. The way it works is. Most online dating profiles, you have matching you set up profiles etc. This one's the same in that you set up a profile and your still messaging other users. You know to make it real simple in that older people can use it. The way it works is that there's only one button that you click in order to make contact. It's literally a red button on every member's page and if you like them you hit the red button, and that initiates a phone call. [LAUGH]. That's it. Oh, wow. That's it. So within the app it lets you make phone calls using WiFi and, you know, because text messaging and sending email messages is kind of an. I don't know, it's not really a personal way to contact someone. You hit this button and it automatically contacts the person on the other line. How great is that? It's great, and then after like, 45 seconds of alternating Hello? Hello? Who is this? [INAUDIBLE] I'm sure the conversation. [LAUGH] And turning the phone right-side up, of course. [LAUGH] And don't worry, if you hang up, there's an automatic redial. Right, it automatically reconnects. Right. So that's great. Once you have the phone call, hopefully, on that conversation, you'll set up a time to meet in person, maybe. Meet or, or. [CROSSTALK] Bring you over there. Oh, man. Don't make this any more bleak than it already is. It's not bleak, it's kinda cute. Yeah, and it's popular too. So right now, Stitch already has over 1,500 users, most of whom are actually women. So older dudes get on that, right? Well, I think it's just because women live longer than men. Oh, you think so? Yes. But that's fine for the ratio. That's a good ratio for if I were over 65, I'd be jumping on those immediately. Yeah. Well, I don't know if you're jumping. but you're, you're making you r way over there. Crawling. You're making your way over there. Hobbling. Tennis balling all the way over [CROSSTALK]. That's right, they put tennis balls on their, on their like, what do they call those? On their walkers. Walkers. Yeah, their plastic walkers. Yeah, how about that? They put it on their antenna on their car to know where they parked. There's a lot of uses for tennis balls. When you're over six foot. None of them for the intended use. [LAUGH] No never. What is your Tinder idea that you we teasing me about. So here's what I want. And we will do this and I'm not joking. You know, cause we've got a little bit of a budget these. We are going to hold a contest, and I want people, look the three of us. We're all taking. R.E.L and I are married. You're not but your in a serious, serious relationship, So we're all taken at the point. I want people to design like Tinder profiles, for us. Oh, that's a terrible move. No, it's a good idea. Wait, what? Okay, yeah. You're telling people to put our-. No, no, no. But like make it up. Don't actually sign up. Yeah. Let me [CROSSTALK] Let me be as clear as I can possibly be. Yeah, do not [CROSSTALK]. Do not, do not put us on Tinder. But make like a big Tinder front page profile for us in like Photoshop or something. Yeah. And I wanna be able to like pick the best one and then send him or her something special. Uh-huh. Something like really cool. These will not go live. No. You never see actual Tinder presence. Of course not, because you, the mission is not to sign up for the, an account. The mission is to Photoshop [CROSSTALK] Creative one. Creative one. So, do it. I think it's a smart idea. I think it'd be funny. Okay. So like the front page one, kind of like what we saw you know, with the last story. So, do that and, and we'll pick a winner. And I say we'll give you like, the summer. Make it our summer contest. That's a good idea. I like that. All right, you're into it? Mhm. Okay so yeah, send it to us with like, I don't know... It can be Tinder or OKCupid, whatever, right? But Tinder's good because it's almost like a baseball card. You know what I mean where it's like that perfect form factor and you know, the whole way it's set up. So do that and do fake Tinder in your subject line when you send it to us and we will make it worth your while. Yeah. I will say, I don't know. How much are we gonna put into this prize? We'll figure out the prize. Yeah. And we'll, we'll make it something special I promise. I heard a funny Tinder story over the weekend. You want to hear it? Yeah, I was talking to this guy that was telling me this story about a couple he had met, and they revealed to him that they had met on Tinder. And they were saying, yeah, you know, like, we kinda dated online for a little while and then we found each other on Tinder. So then, the next question this guy asked was, well, how long have you guys been together for? And the girl goes, about four or five times. Oh my God [LAUGH] that's such a Tinder response [LAUGH]. so weird. Isn't that that's such a Tinder response. Yeah super awkward right, what does that even mean? That's a that means they banged four times. [CROSSTALK] Or dates I don't know. How weird is that? Yeah it's really strange how people frame their online relationships. Do you think that's. It's just like an evolution of people just not giving a crap. Yeah, I mean, I think the response early on in the online dating days were kind of shame and meekness, when you would talk about your online dating. Yeah, people used to be ashamed of that. Yeah. But now people are just like, oh yeah. You met online. Right. That's fine. It's totally cool. It's better than being like, oh yeah, we met when I introduced myself the following morning after I was blacked out drunk. What's better? What do you think, man? I don't want to get into a huge thing, but do you think like it sort of objectifies the whole thing? What? Just online dating in general? In general. No, not really. I think it's just another way to meet somebody. You can do that anywhere. Yeah, but Tinder is just like a hot or not. Yeah, I think, I think the problem comes when you start to treat it like a game. And that's what I think a lot of people do is, they use it as like an ego boost to see how many matches they can get. Yeah, I mean that's what I would do Yeah, or they become overly picky where if they weren't on Tinder they wouldn't mind about the small details, but becuase they know that there's a whole, you know, there's pages and pages of girls to look through, or guys to look through. They kind of get more picky. Yeah. I think that's the weird side of things. I'm just glad I don't have to make a Tinder profile. Yeah. I just don't want to have to be bothered with something like that. Dude, the messed up thing about Tinder, this is something I learned over the weekend too, is that you can't delete your Tinder profile. Ever? You can log off or you can disable it, even when you do. What they call deleting. Your profile still stays for months online. Whatever. And, so when you sign back online if you choose to reactivate it, you'll get matches from the time that you thought you had deleted your profile, which is really messed up for people that actually meet on Tinder. Come to find out, that they still have a profile online that they're maybe checking their messages. Oh. Yeah, I guess so. It's tricky. I was having dinner with Stacy on Sunday, and we were, I don't know how we got into talking about it. And she's like, you should make one. What? Yeah, I swear. And she said do it, have fun. The two of you? Yeah, she's not saying like, go, you know, **** around. She's just saying like, it will be fun. She's saying like, let's **** around? No, no, no. She's like, let's have a contest. Let's see who can get more like. Clicks, you or me. And I'm like, oh my God. First of all, you would automatically win. Right? Yeah, undoubtedly. Automatically. But she was, I don't think she thought it through. That is the worst idea. Yeah. That's the truth. She was, cuz she was like, I think she was just like, no, let's have fun and like. See what happens. Yeah, I mean either you gotta [CROSSTALK]. Not like we were gonna. Yeah. Hook up. [INAUDIBLE] Jealous people. And she's not gonna take it too far. And then I said to her no, we can't do that. Because the second I'm on there, it, you know, it works re-, locally. Someone's gonna see, recognize me. Yeah. And be like what happened Jeff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, that'd be, you know, turn a fun thing into a terrible thing. And it wouldn't be a contest either. Girls get way more [CROSSTALK]. Destroy me. Wouldn't even try. She could put her like, I don't know, she could put her like six on there, you know? Yeah. Just like, grow. And then it would be no contest. Oh my gosh. Alright, we got time for one more story. Okay, what are we gonna do? You wanna do, let's do this 3D movie story because I really like, I really like this article. Okay, thanks. That means a lot. Yeah. So you read it and you didn't even know it was me? No I knew it was you but I just didn't realize you were writing such heated editorials now for CNet. I read it too. Oh you did? Yeah I did. I like it. I want to see more. Yeah? More of those. Oh man now I got, I got, I'm under a lot of pressure to follow up. [LAUGH]. So I went to go see, X-Men last week like we all were talking about. And, I was the film and I thought it was okay. The movie was pretty good. And, but I did see it in three d and that, you that, that pissed me right off, because three d sucks. ANd you're a dummy if you think it's good. I think it's, it's, it's ruining the movie going experience and, I mean, let's be honest, it was destroyed for me already. Yeah. But you know, there's a lot of things that I don't think are worth the extra money that you're paying. For what I think is a inferior experience to seeing a regular film. The glasses suck. Everything has this weird sort of like diorama, miniaturized effect to it and I, I just don't understand the appeal. And there's no way save for maybe Alfonso Cuaron and Gravity or. James Cameron and Avatar where I truly believe a director and the filmmakers who really respect the craft are like, yeah. This is what we want. Because it just all, it compromises way too many natural aesthetics of the filmmaking process in my opinion and leaves you with this like cartoony, mish mash disaster. Yeah. I'm sure a lot of directors would agree with. Us, I agree with it too. Right. Just, it, it totally compromises their art. I think it looks like ****. [CROSSTALK] movies that was filmed for three. Especially the movies that are converted from tv to 3-D are the worst. Oh, don't, yeah, don't even get me started with that. That's aside from the health issues you could encounter from watching 3-D movies. A lot of people just straight up puke or they feel really nauseous when they watch those. Yeah. And that makes sense too, because you're con, I feel like when I watch a 3-D movie I'm constantly shifting my focus. And trying to look at the 3D things. But then also when you just want to watch the scene. You end up having to look through the image to the screen behind it. Right. And that totally messes me up I end up getting headaches. It's a damn joke. You trivialize the entire experience. It's like you're in Epoch Center you know. And I choose this photo to go along with the blog because of how ridiculous every one looks here. And to me that is what's happening now. You put on theses stupid, god awful glasses, that are uncomfortable and they just take you out of the whole. Think. Yeah. It's just not a good experience and I know I'm not alone in this way of thinking. Mm-hm. And I really, truly believe that it's like one of the worst cultural phenomenons that, to hit a pop culture front. I just, I just don't get it. Yeah. I don't know, it actually looked so strange. Like there's something about it, it looked overly smooth. Like you know those 120hz TV's that make everything look ultra smooth. They give it that soap opera-y effect, where it's like things look more than video, they're just like ultra smooth, don't, don't really make sense. There's a problem there, and I think that looks. Absurd, and that's what this 3D sort of does to the movies. It gives us this like video effect. And I get it, stuff is not really filmed on film anymore. But, a lot of, you know, film makers still preserve that 24 second per frame aesthetic. And, you know, I think it's been working fine and I don't think we really need to change it. I mean, even visually, like something you brought up that even I didn't realize about 3D movies and the article is How a lot of the glasses have a grayish tint. Yeah, they make it darker. Yeah, so to overcompensate, it's already a little bit darker when you watch through it, so to overcompensate a lot of 3D movies will be overly saturated, which is another thing that directors must be so pissed off about. It's funny, I was reading another criticism by Roger Ebert who also hates 3D movies. Oh, right. Right. Right, you're in good company. He called 3Ds a waste. Of a perfectly good dimension which I think is a very funny and true comment. I think for sometimes, it can be worth it. Especially when it's a movie that's created for 3D. Like, I watched this movie about, like, avant-garde art dancing called Kena. Have you seen that? It was at. No. It was playing at IFC a few months ago. It was great. It was just like two hours of sort of artistic freestyle dance. And something like that was perfect for it. Or like cave of forgotten dreams. Sure. I watched that in 3D, too. Don't get me wrong, there's a time for everything. [CROSSTALK] Yeah, and you want that kind of. In fact, it's worth it. But, other than that, $7 is too much. Extra. Yeah. I think, you're right, there's a time and a place. Like I said, Epcot Center, great, put me in the 3D thing. I want to be in like a moving auditorium where all the seats vibrate and do crap like that. Right. Not. That's cool. Like bears, you know that movie? Do that. Right, right, exactly. I don't want to have it, be like, that's how I'm seeing films now in 3D. Like, give me a god damned break. Meet the Fockers in 3D, it's like shut up. Yeah. Get away from me. I think I would actually prefer to pay $7 for a vibrating massage chair, than the actual 3D effect. That would be awesome! Absolutely. You could get like a Brookstone chair in the theatre. And the thing I learned after writing this, everyone's tweeting me and they said, dude, the biggest thing that's. Sucks is that these 3D films are taking over the 2D time slots. [CROSSTALK]. So when you wanna go to like a ten o'clock movie on a Saturday night, you're having to see it in 3D. Mm-hm. Cuz you don't have a choice. Right. That's what, cuz they're forcing that, that premium pricing on you at those money time slots. I hope that one day ten years in the future we're gonna look back and be embarrassed for how many 3D movies came out. Well don't for- Do we need Jurassic Park in 3D. [CROSSTALK] No. There's no way that looked good. I don't care what anyone says there was no way that that was good, and. I, you know, there was a time where like, it was kinda going away. Remember the Clash of the Titans thing that was like an abomination of 3-D Yeah. And everyone was like, oh my God, it's the worst thing ever. Yeah. And you thought we were going to be okay. You thought everything was going to be alright for a little bit. Mm-hm. And the 3-D movie popularity dipped. But then something happened. Like Spiderman 15 came out. Yeah. And then that was in 3-D. And everything, now we're back on that awful bandwagon again. You know what it is? It is always the 3rd movie in the trilogy that is always in 3D. They can never resist that stupid pun. YOu know what I mean? Like Spy Kids 3D. They always have to add that stupid thing at the end you know? Like step up 3D was the same way. Jack **** 3D was terrible. Yeah, they're just. Figuring out a way to milk more money out of you because they think you're stupid. But I mean, you could, I wouldn't mind them milking more money out of me if it was something that actually was a good experience or. You know, if it was flaunting, like, really good sound or something like that. Right. Absolutely. But, like. You're 100% right, Justin. But the fact that it's an inferior experience. Yeah, yeah. And the fact that the cons far outweight the pros and you're paying money. For kids. It is for kids. It's totally for kids. Only Pixar, only animated Pixar crap should be. In 3D, right, we are in agreement? Wonderful. Maybe the 300 movies, and any kind of like Robert Rodriguez movies should probably be in 3D too. Okay, I'll give you that but the option you have to sit in the weird theater where no one goes. Yeah. All right, let's see if we're in agreement about the weird food items to my left. All right, what do you want to do first here? Let's get this going, we only have a few minutes. Yeah,I feel like we'll save the Doritos for a second. We want to know what we're getting with these Oreos. So let's like confirm, okay? Wait, we're not going to eat those Doritos? No, we are. Okay. We're just going to eat these Oreos first. So oh, we have a first use for the intern. Yeah. Justin, will you come here for a second, buddy? Just, take one of these yourself and give one to R.E.L. They kinda, they're kinda beaten up. They're a little beaten up, they didn't survive the carrier, the courier. Okay, so here we have an Oreo, half peanut butter, half chocolate, double chocolate cookie sandwich. Let's see. Oh yeah okay. I am not mad at that at all. Mm-mm. Not one of Justin's Not that into it. Really. Do you not like peanut butter. I do. I really like Reese's but I think I'd rather have them separated. Yeah. It's okay. What are you talking about? I think I prefer the classic Oreo better. Want one? [LAUGH] No I'm alright I don't need your half eaten Oreo. But it's not bad I don't hate it. Dude your like Mr. sweet tooth what's the problem? I know, I know, I just like, I'm a purest man. I like [CROSSTALK], [LAUGH]. Alright fair enough. What do you think Oreo? It's very good. Yeah. Anything peanut butter. [CROSSTALK] Two enthusiastic thumbs up. Very nice. Alright I like these better. One cleanse the pallet, cleanse it. Alright these are Doritos Jack Code 404. First smell, let me see what you smell? Like, what do you think? Well I don't know. Barf? At first smells like a burritos. Yeah, I don't know. All right I think we're going for like some sort of mexican angle here. The orange on the label would indicate cheese is involved. Justin if you, if you could help us out again sir. Take yeah you can take the whole thing. Go in a cup that's fine. Yes bring the whole thing. Yes, bring me the bag, sir. I can't tell what that is. Lime? There's definitely some kind of lime in there. It's, it's avocado and chips. It's guacamole and chips. But they already have a guacamole flavor. Do they? [CROSSTALK] Yeah. Okay. Then I'm wrong. No, there's something limey in here. I don't know. This is tough. What do you think? I don't know what this is. what the f is it? It's good, I like it. It's good. I think it tastes too close to the others. Yeah. Mine just tastes like a regular Doritos. Kind of, I sense some cool ranch. Yeah a little cool ranch on that. Maybe it's the cheese and the cool ranch combined in one. Mm. Cuz they're jacked together. Yes. Mm. That's why it's called Jacked. Did they tell you what it was? No. [CROSSTALK] anything. Huh. Alright. What the hell was that? It's better than that burger one we tried. Oh my [INAUDIBLE] Remember that cheeseburger flavor? Oh, yeah. There was a cheeseburger Dorito. Oh, terrible. And they all like decided this is what they were going to do and they put it in bags and sent it to the grocery stores. Yeah. I think you could. Buy it. You know when somebody's talking to you and you can smell that they just had a burger. Yeah. It tasted like that guy's smell. There was mustard in it too. Yeah. Was there a hot dog one too, we tried them so many times? I think there was a hot dog one. What do you think R.E.L? I, I like it. It just takes like a Doritos I've had before. Yeah, maybe they're just F'ing with us. Yeah maybe. Now there's Doritos dust all over the Tri-caster. Nice. Well we already had sheet rock dust over it before why the hell not nacho too? Well all right thank you to everyone who sent in Doritos. 404 Jacked and let us know about it Jose, Dj appreciate it. Man, how come they don't manufacture Doritos dust? Why wouldn't they package that so you can like sprinkle it on other things. Like a powder? Yeah! I don't know. Mm, good idea. I'm looking. And crust, your like, chicken breast with it or something? Have Doritos? Oh my God. I'm gonna do this. [LAUGH] You are a product of such a screwed up generation. [LAUGH] Genius. Yeah, I dunno where you get that. Alright, that's it for us. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, twit it. Twit it? Twitter, Reddit, and all that other stuff. And Tinder. Don't, seriously, make us take Tinder profiles. Do not create an account. Just Photoshop that front profile baseball card looking thing. All right, well I think my fart code went off, oh man. That's already, within thirty seconds we gotta go. We'll see you guys tomorrow. This is it for you, right? That's it. All right. Jill Slessenger back on the program. Maybe I'll save your half eaten Oreo for her. Yeah, thank you. She's on the show tomorrow. And then Friday is our 1500th episode. I'm not going to be here for that. Have a good show, you guys. Thanks. I'll be here for 2,000. I'm not a big numbers guy, but we'll have to figure something out. All right. That's it for us. We'll see you guys tomorrow. I'm Jeff Bakalar. I'm Justin Yu. I'm Mario Nunez. This has been the 404 Show, High Tech, Low Brow. Until tomorrow, later. [MUSIC]

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