Hey, it's Wednesday, May 28th.
I'm Mark Licea, and from our CBS studios in New York City, welcome to The 404.
[MUSIC].
All right.
Welcome to our fine program, ladies and gentlemen.
This is The 404 Show.
I'm Jeff Bakalar.
I'm Justin Yu.
Thank you for tuning in.
Thank you for Mark Licea being here once again, filling in.
We've got a collection of stuff to get to today that we're very excited about.
Mm-hm.
You know, it's a, it's a weird kinda week I guess, with the short week going on.
Yeah.
There's not what I would call a terrible amount of news breaking.
Yeah.
Next week is going to be an interesting week for us, too.
Should we do a little breakdown of what's coming?
Yeah, tell us what's happening.
So this Friday Shannon Cook is gonna come back, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
From Spotify.
Tell us what kind of music we should be listening to.
Right.
And then next week we're gonna have something of a short week for the two of us.
I'm leaving on Wednesday.
So, I won't be here Wednesday through Friday.
And then you'll be gone the following week for E3.
That's right, Mark and I.
It's gonna be a kind of broken up next few weeks.
Yeah, I'll be here all next week, Mark and I will be leaving.
When are we leaving?
A week from Sunday.
Yeah, we get there Sunday.
Oh man.
E3 2014.
Get excited for a bunch of games that are only gonna disappoint you two years later.
Aw, that's what we're gonna be talking about today with your Watchdogs review, right?
Yeah.
I found this pretty interesting, so I wanted to talk about.
Okay.
Maybe not so much the game itself, but the implications of showing off a game two years before it comes out.
Totally with you.
Lots to talk about, and Mark Licea will definitely have a lot to chime in on about in that regard as well.
[LAUGH].
He's such, you know what he's really good at?
What?
He's really good at switching cameras.
[LAUGH] I just want everyone to know who's watching.
[INAUDIBLE] [CROSSTALK].
No, I feel bad cuz I look at the wide shot and the, the, the light, the overhead light is a little bit kind of shot.
I think it looks.
What, that old thing?
I think it looks fine.
Yeah, so I was just going to move the camera up, so that's why I was leaving it on the, the, the wide shot.
Alright, do whatever you gotta do.
The darker it is in here, the better.
I, I agree.
Bring the darkness.
[LAUGH] Alright please tease us, Mr. Yu.
Yeah, there's some pretty interesting news going on at least today.
Sure, sure.
Yesterday was a little bit of slow news day, but we're gonna talk about Google unveiling their first prototype of a self-driving car.
Good.
That's the future.
And then another future tech after that Skype just unveiled their first real time translator for languages.
Excellent.
Very cool stuff.
Then we'll talk about something that may or may not take off.
You be the judge.
The first the world's first ear bud is designed for use with pornography.
It's only a matter of time.
Oh, oh, okay.
Okay.
But you know, the demand is there, so it makes sense.
Safety first.
And then like we discussed a little bit earlier, we'll talk about Jeff's Watch Dogs review that came out yesterday, and all the reviews are out.
But it doesn't really live up to the hype, so we'll get into that more.
It doesn't, it doesn't.
Yeah.
And then, do we have emails today?
We don't have any emails but we, I wanted to get to your, you had an eBay story.
Oh, that's right.
That we didn't get to yesterday.
Yeah, yesterday I wanted to talk about all the weird crap that you can buy on eBay that's listed at $6.66.
The sign of the beast.
Yeah, also $666, there's this weird trend.
Okay.
With people just using triple six in, as their starting price on eBay, and stuff kinda matches how creepy that number is, too.
Sick, our fascination with numbers.
I love it.
okay, this is a great rundown.
It's your world, we're just living in it.
Tell me?
Yeah, that's it.
Or Google?
It's really Google.
[CROSSTALK].
No, it's your world, Justin.
You, you are the all-seeing eye of The 404 Show.
Well, thank you, I think.
You're welcome, dictator.
There's only one eye in play right now, really.
[LAUGH] A single eye.
yeah, so yesterday Sergei Brin, he unveiled the first working prototype of what will eventually, hopefully, be Google's self-driving car.
So bring up a video of this while we're talking about it.
Because I think it's really interesting.
Everybody should be watching this video, cuz it may be what we're all gonna be participating in, in the next 10 years or so.
So, the vehicle itself?
It's a two seater.
It's got built-in sensors to drive the car.
So there's no type of steering apparatus whatsoever.
There's no pedals or wheel.
It looks sort of like Steve Urkel's first car.
What?
That Fiat 500 that he drove around?
Oh, wasn't it like the Urkel mobile?
The Urkel mobile, the thing that always sort of like opened up from the front.
It's an adorable design.
Who makes the car?
What, what, what's happening on the top of this car's head?
So on the top of the vehicle, you'll see this thing that sort of looks like a turret, and that holds the laser in place.
Which is basically the eye that looks around looking for obstructions and pedestrians and stuff like that.
Constantly 360 degrees.
Yeah, but the first thing you'll notice about the car is that it's tiny.
Like I said, it looks a lot like a Fiat, but the reason for that is so that the turret on top doesn't have to be too tall, and the rounded corners on the car makes it so that it has a 360 degree view without any blind spots, really.
Oh.
Wow.
So it could see the ground on every side of the car.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
So it has to be really small with rounded corners.
But it's just a two-seater.
You're not gonna fit too many people in it.
The front, interestingly enough, has two feet of foam built into where you would normally have the engine.
But since there's no engine, it's all electric.
You get two feet of foam for [INAUDIBLE] [CROSSTALK].
That's a great crumple zone right there.
Yeah.
so.
We're watching this car in action right now.
Right.
That's a, yeah if you, you Pete, it's funny they're, they're putting like senior citizens in it.
Mm-hm.
I can't tell if it's to like freak them out or.
Get like a realistic sample study here.
Right.
Well they are probably the most skeptical out of anyone getting into it.
I guess so.
Good case study there.
Man, what if.
I just, I really hope that this becomes a reality, where I can just like sit in a car and not worry about it.
Yeah, yeah, I mean they look like they're having a lot of fun.
It can only go 25 miles per hour.
It tops out at pretty slow speed.
Oh, okay.
So, so pointless right now.
Yeah.
You're not taking it out on the freeway or anything like that, but mainly it's to show the design, which largely was based on the Tron cycle.
I think that's really cool.
That is cool.
There's photos that they, the team released of their design process, and all the inspiration that they were collecting, and one of the shots actually shows that original Tron light cycle.
So you could tell that they were looking forward and I guess in the past too, a little bit for the design.
You think this is gonna be a thing?
You think, like?
Not for a while.
[INAUDIBLE] [CROSSTALK].
Yeah, definitely a prototype.
And the first one, you gotta imagine that they're going to come out with a bunch more prototypes before the final one is produced.
But the cool thing about it, is that they're only producing 100.
And there's no hint on dates.
They didn't even give an approximation.
So that's kind of, I guess giving themselves a little bit of wiggle room so they don't have to make any promises.
Right, yeah.
I don't know.
Would you jump into one of these?
Depends where.
Yeah.
Like, not in Manhattan.
Yeah.
But, I would in like.
I just wanna say that they're safer to take onto the freeway at high speeds.
I don't know, maybe.
Than, you know, 25 miles per hour in a busy street.
A lot to deal with at intersections.
[NOISE] They, they expect by 2020.
Mm-hm.
That they're gonna, it's gonna be a regular thing.
Yeah, I don't believe that.
So, that's the projected timeline.
So, like 2020 for most self-driving car enthusiasts is their goal.
Right.
That's less than six years away, so.
Yeah, that's kinda terrifying.
Huh, I don't know.
I'm into it though, man.
Sign me up, dude.
Here's why I don't think.
I mean this is the skepticism part of this segment, but I feel like it's never gonna take off fully.
People aren't gonna embrace it fully.
Cuz people like driving, right?
I mean I remember being 16.
I know plenty of people who do not like driving.
If you were 16 years old and had the option, either have a self-driving car or control it yourself, you'd definitely choose the other.
Right.
Right.
You would choose to drive it yourself, cuz you want that control.
Right.
I don't know, though.
Yeah, I don't know.
Sorry if I sound detached, I'm just hearing the crazy drilling and noise in the background.
Do you think that's getting picked up by the microphone?
It is for sure, a little bit.
How's that sound to you, Mark?
Yeah, you can hear it a little bit, unfortunately.
That's gonna happen a lot over the next few months, so people can get an inside look at how the construction's going.
Or an inside ear.
The funny part is that, I'm not even sure if that's construction coming from our.
No, it's.
Floor.
It's upstairs, definitely.
It's amazing that.
Whats amazing?
That like, this like, this is what we deal, like we're a major corporation.
Oh, yeah.
We produce a show everyday.
Yeah, they don't know about the show.
People right outside the door don't know about our show.
Much less the construction work.
I don't know, I feel like you know, I don't know.
I wanna, I wanna yell at someone.
Yeah, you can yell at me.
Just take it out on me.
No, I, it's not your fault, you're not the foreman.
[LAUGH] I got the work order signed right here.
You're not wearing a hard hat and a fancy neon vest.
Here's my question to you.
Ten years from now, we all have self-driving cars.
One of them gets into a car accident.
Whose fault is it?
Is it the manufacturer's fault, or the schmuck that bought this thing?
The robot's fault.
Is it the robot's fault?
Yeah.
The robot with the driver's seat.
Finally, being able to blame them for something.
Yeah.
Finally threw a few of those robots [INAUDIBLE] [CROSSTALK].
No, that's a great question, like it will completely revolutionize.
Yeah.
The, the whole sort of idea transportation in the country.
Mm-hm.
And there'll have to be new rules around it.
And like, we never do stuff like that.
Yeah.
Like, nothing happens in our lifetime where, you know, we embrace a brand new changeover.
Mm-hm.
That would affect everything.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
I kind of think it's gonna happen [INAUDIBLE].
It helps to be optimistic.
I mean, how long have you had auto-pilot in an airplane for?
I don't know, that's a great question.
I wanna say like, 20 years?
20 years.
And they still, they use it, but there's always like cruise control, right?
I don't know.
There's always a person behind it.
Right.
There's always two pilots, a pilot and a co-pilot, they still have the console in front of them with all those buttons and stuff.
They haven't gotten rid of the humans completely.
That's flying.
And flying is way less dangerous.
No, but it's like anyone.
There's, there's less things in the air that you can crash into.
But everyone can drive a car, not everyone can fly a plane.
Probably.
But once you get up there, I'm assuming it's.
I would imagine it's like.
Not that hard.
You're right.
You are right.
Once you're in the, once you're at like, a cruising altitude.
Yeah.
How hard is it to fly?
[INAUDIBLE]
I would just imagined you'd just be like, doing this.
Yeah.
That's why they have autopilots.
Looking forward.
No, but I think the, I think auto-pilot also makes the turns and stuff, too.
Yeah.
I asked a commercial airline pilot, and he said 90% of the flight is auto-piloted.
Right.
And I said, wow.
It's like done by that blow up thing that comes up, like in Airplane, the movie.
[LAUGH] Right, exactly.
But yeah, you know, they haven't gotten rid of the humans entirely from that equation.
No.
Why are we getting rid of them on the ground?
Where there's way more people and the children to kill?
Yeah it's always, it just reminds of like the setup you have when you do the the student driver.
Where there were like, there weren't two wheels, but there were two sets of brakes.
Yeah, yeah.
In the front seats of the car.
So that instructor could always be like, oh, he's not gonna stop in time.
[LAUGH] Let me help you out.
Yeah.
Tap that brake a little harder.
That should be in this Google car, they don't even have that.
There's an Emergency button.
I'm not even sure [INAUDIBLE] [CROSSTALK].
Like if it's going 25 miles an hour, the chances of a fatal collision at 25 miles an hour.
Right.
For people inside the car?
Right.
Are very low.
Yeah.
And, and there's no glass even, too.
I think the, the windshield's all made out of polymers and plastics.
Right.
You don't have to worry about that shattering.
Yeah, so maybe you get like a there's seatbelts in the thing, right?
Hopefully, yeah.
Whatever.
Whatever!
[LAUGH]
25 miles an hour!
What's the, like a golf cart goes 25 miles an hour.
What would happen?
What's the worst that's gonna happen?
Yeah.
You get a bump on the head.
Oh, no!
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not worried about the people inside the car so much as the pedestrians that are walking in the intersection and then jay walking.
Well that's what the, that's what the turret, that's what the camera turret's for.
Things like that.
Oh, I spilled my coffee.
Right, there are two cup holders though, which you'll be happy to hear.
There you have it.
Google thought of everything.
I'm not worried about the, I am totally willing to.
Yeah.
Give them the keys to the future of auto-driving cars.
It's a lot like electric cars when we talk about that.
I want some kind of hybrid of automation and human control, right?
So for people that are drunk or.
Why don't you live a little, man?
Just let the computer do it's job.
Yeah, why does it have to be one or the other?
It's not the battle of robots.
That's not the way it has to be!
Just let go.
The robots aren't the enemy.
You cannot be yourself until you've learned to let go.
Right.
Yeah, I guess so.
Right.
yeah, I wanna see how, I wanna just fast forward 20 years into the future and see how many of these cars we have and.
We'll see.
Are there gonna be luxury self-driving cars?
Yeah.
I don't know.
How are you gonna distinguish yourself?
Like I feel like that's, you know, it's a class thing.
People, when they drive their cars, they like to make the choice of what they wanna buy.
You know, to buy more expensive vehicle than their neighbor.
Right.
With self-driving cars, you don't even do that.
Of course you will!
Yeah?
What are you talking about?
There's gonna be a Mercedes self-driving car?
Yes!
Just like the, I mean like, why?
Yeah, why wouldn't there be?
Plush seats.
There's plenty of things that you know, yeah.
Why wouldn't you think?
You think just cuz it's automated, people won't want to spend money?
Yeah I, I figured people wanna spend more on like a V6 engine versus a V4, for more power.
But if it's self-driving, all that stuff goes out the window.
What are you talking about?
What does luxury mean, in a self-driving car?
I guess more entertainment in the back.
If anything, it means wearing a thousand dollar suit, or a twenty dollar suit.
Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
I want to see what those look like.
It's gonna be a complete living room in the backseat of a car.
Jacuzzi.
So that's the future.
So, that's the future.
That's what we have to look forward to.
Go check out the video, because it is pretty cool.
Right.
Ugly car.
Yeah.
The car's ugly.
The car is ugly.
Is it ugly?
It is ugly.
I think it's cute.
Look at this thing.
It's hideous.
I think it's adorable.
Hideous little bug.
It's got like a little face on it.
Kinda looks like a koala bear from the front.
[LAUGH].
What do you think, Mark?
Cute or no?
I mean it just looks like a, looks like a Volkswagen sorta kinda, right?
Yeah, totally.
I just want to kick it.
I want to kick it.
I don't know why.
Yeah, it would probably fall, flop over.
Yeah, I want to kick it and watch it go into orbit.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I want to do.
It does look like it's filled with air, kind of.
Yeah.
It does, it does.
Alright so more future talk here.
Yesterday at the code conference, Microsoft's CEO Satya Nadella.
Unveiled their next big project, which I think is a little bit more applicable to us than the Google self-driving car.
It's gonna be a universal real-time translator.
So, voice recognition, that's been in the works for a while.
You know, I would say, what 15 years or so we've had decent voice recognition.
Well, in the past five years that technology has really gotten pushed forward and Skype is gonna be unveiling at the end of this year, a universal real-time translator.
This is neat.
Yeah.
You know, I also forgot Microsoft bought Skype.
Yeah, it's hard to remember.
This article is designed to remind you of that.
Yeah, yeah, don't forget everything in this world is owned by three companies.
Right, in case you forgot.
Yeah.
So imagine one day, right, you'll, you'll wanna maybe make a phone call with grandma.
And you make a normal Skype call, but on the other side of the line is somebody who doesn't speak English, or whatever language is your main.
And eventually what will happen, and happen with Skype, is you speak in your native language.
After a brief pause Skype basically translates semantically and reads it out loud to the other person, in a robot voice.
That's cool.
So it's not, you know, when you say real-time, it's not immediate like you would see like in a Minority Report or something like that, but.
Right, right.
Phonic detector.
Yeah, yeah, but quickly enough I think the, the headline that's grabbing everybody to this story is the Star Trek communicator, right?
Not as quickly, but yeah.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah, that's pretty close.
I mean, that's really, that's smart.
Yeah.
I'm into it.
I don't know, though.
[LAUGH] Here's the skeptical part of this segment.
Okay.
How do you, okay if you're communicating with somebody who doesn't speak your language, you don't speak their language, how can you confirm that what you're saying is being properly translated?
You'll never know.
You'll never know.
Yeah.
You'd need to have a third person that understands both languages.
Right.
And, and can just like be the, the, the confirming part.
Yeah.
You can't.
That's why it's beta.
I know.
You slap a beta thing on it, and everything's fine.
And I want to ask what's up with the dev team, too.
I mean, this must be a really difficult program to research, cuz basically, the dev team needs to have people that speak every single language.
And you, well, I guess, but the big thing is like, you'll probably have to speak a certain way with it.
Like everything has to be literal.
Right
You can't speak figuratively at all.
No filler words.
Everything will be lost in translation if you somehow use slang.
Right.
You must be very direct.
And then, if that's the case.
I think the general point of your conversation will get made.
Mm-hm.
You know?
Right?
I think so, too yeah.
It's the way.
You know?
It's like, you'll have to speak to like a really old person when you're, like, no.
How are you feeling?
Right.
Or somebody who you don't think speaks your language very well.
Slow, punctual.
With your palms on your knees.
You know?
The way no one.
Kinda looking down at them.
The way nobody talks.
And super loud, too.
Right.
You'll have to scream until.
[LAUGH] You're right.
So this is coming to Windows 8 devices hopefully by the end of this year.
I'm anxious to try it out.
Absolutely, I think that it's a great idea.
Yeah.
Wait Mark, do you speak a second language?
I do not.
What about you, Jess?
Nope.
Then we're not testing this out.
Do you speak a second language, Justin?
Barely.
My Chinese is poor.
I mean, yeah I know, like, think.
The, my last count was I know about, 11% of Spanish.
Yeah, you probably know more Spanish than I know Chinese.
I have like a 5th grader's vocabulary grasp.
Yeah, so then I might.
Maybe it's more like 7%.
Yeah.
How anyone could accurately measure that is beyond me.
That's just the number that I like to throw around, though.
Mm-hm, yeah.
Well, soon we won't have to speak in a, any second language.
It'll just do it for us, right?
Yeah, but I still think it's important for, for people to natively understand another language.
Yeah.
Probably just Spanish.
I feel like voice recognition technology would come in handy if it weren't connected to Skype.
You know what I mean?
Like, why wouldn't they just come out with like an app
They have that.
Yeah, Wordlands, right?
Yeah, mm-hm.
I think that's what it's called.
Wordlands is like where you can take a picture with your phone.
Right and just translate it.
Of like a sign in a different language.
Right.
And it'll translate it for you on the fly.
That would be way more useful than having to pull up Skype every time.
Yeah, no, no one's gonna pull up Skype just to, to do that.
That's for like.
It's weird though.
Like think, how many times are you in a Skype call where you're like, oh man, this guy speaks French.
I'm totally lost right now.
Right.
When does that happen?
Maybe in a conference or something?
I don't know.
Maybe.
But yeah, for travelers I think it'd be much better if you know, if you could put this in your Google Glass or something.
Right, like that old, what was it?
That old like, encyclopedia where you would type something in and it would talk.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The one with like a flip-up plastic cover.
Yeah, like Clark Griswold carried one around Europe, I think.
[LAUGH] Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Alright, so that's pretty useful.
Wanna hear about something not so useful?
Hell yeah.
I'm calling **** on this entire design, but it's kind of a funny story.
Certainly only a matter of time, but a Taiwanese company just announced that they'll be selling the world's first ear bud made for use with adult movies.
With porn.
I just wanna read the tag line here for those who don't have the luxury.
Mm-hm.
Of the visual accompaniment.
Mm-hm.
The tag line for love pals.
Love pals.
That's with a z, in case you were wondering.
It's the world's first six-way ear phone.
Mm.
The f does that mean, number one.
And number two it says, so close, so real, so 4D experience.
[LAUGH] Oh, that's so 4D.
What the freak does that mean?
[LAUGH] That's them just using the catchiest tech jargon to sell their text.
It's not, they're not even trying.
But the picture, though!
. The picture is really what you should be looking at.
It's a really poorly Photoshopped photo of a woman holding the earbud in her mouth.
[LAUGH].
Because, you know, just kinda just sorta holding the cord in her mouth.
Yeah.
And then the earbud's like.
Dangling.
Yeah, just dangling.
The ear bud's just like, oh, did I sign up for the wrong project?
[LAUGH].
Yeah.
I don't understand this.
Low point.
So they're actually not even called Love Palz.
The company?
Lovepalz with a z .com is the URL.
Oh.
For the ear buds which are much less catchy sounding.
There called the Ladobi, L A D O B I.
Oh, sorry.
I think Lovepalz is better.
Ladobi.
Ladobi.
They say they're designed for a 4D listening experience.
[LAUGH]
I have no idea what that means.
What?
We, we, there's so much engrish here, it's insane!
An earphone that overturns your taste towards film?
[LAUGH]
Wait, go, go to FAQ real quick.
I'm just curious how.
Yeah.
You don't want me to go to taste, happiness, or moment?
[LAUGH].
You would rather me go to, what?
The FAQ?
Click on whatever you want.
Okay, the Ladobi FAQ.
Go down.
My favorite thing is how it talks about the ear muffs.
Can I buy more earmuffs of Ladobi?
Yes, you can.
The parcel will include two different size earmuffs, big and small ones.
Ooh.
If you lost them and want to get more, you can email to this email address.
Then we will sort out your problem ASAP.
Yeah.
Go to Taste.
Go to Taste.
[LAUGH]
Do you want me to go to Taste?
Go to Taste.
[LAUGH]
Maybe we shouldn't go to Taste.
Oh, okay.
Oh my.
Okay, well the idea I think, is that this 4D listening experience.
It basically pumps up the performer's voices.
And also equalizes with the acoustics?
Is what they're saying.
Where do you find this?
Where do I personally find this?
Yes, where did you find this?
Or where does one buy this?
I know someone needs to go to a URL to go to this and for shiggles, link to that in our show notes today that no one can ever find.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh-huh.
I want you to tell me, where you found this?
Me, Justin Yu.
Like where on Earth did you find this webpage?
What do you mean?
It's right here, lovepalz.com
I understand that, but where did you find it?
How did you know to go here?
Just a little, little website called don'tworryaboutit.com.
No you can't use that joke anymore.
Yeah.
Where did you find this?
The internet!
It's, it's linked to different blogs that I read.
Mm-hm.
And it'll probably be on CNet pretty soon.
Yeah.
39.99 a pair.
That's it?
Yeah.
There's only a thousand of them being made.
There's only a thousand of them, so it's pretty inexpensive at 40 bucks.
They say the frequency range can dip from 15hz to 22khz, which not, isn't nearly as good as a lot of the ear buds on the market.
So, I don't really think anything is special going on here.
Okay.
What would you, what would you expect to have out of a pair of earphones made for porn?
Like a sneeze bar [LAUGH].
Like the kind that a salad bar has.
Wait.
Sneeze guard?
Oh, right, right.
It'd be like a self-tanning thing that would just like come out from your waist to block.
Right, it's something like that, a sneeze guard.
Yeah.
You know?
What about you, Mark?
Have you ever watched porn and thought my ear buds are in no way good for supporting this?
I usually don't use the ear buds.
Really?
Yeah.
I was just gonna say, I don't either.
Yeah.
You want your neighbors to listen to what's going on [CROSSTALK]?
Well, number one, how loud are you playing it?
I kinda blast it until I hear like, people in the hallway.
And then I'm like, oh my God, people actually exists outside of this apartment, and I turn it down.
No [LAUGH].
I don't blast it.
You know what I, I get.
Really?
You use the speakers?
Yeah, I never use ear buds.
Wow, that might just be a habit from when I lived with other people.
But I still don't do that.
Yeah, maybe that's what that is.
Yeah, weird.
That is weird.
You just let it fly like that?
Yeah kind of just let it.
Blast it to six?
Kinda let it [CROSSTALK] [LAUGH].
Let it just you know, bounce off all the walls in the house.
[LAUGH] What is wrong with you guys?
I don't know.
I think it's totally normal.
Okay.
Why?
You don't, I mean.
I don't know, ear buds feel weird to me.
Yeah?
You don't want any cords getting in the way?
[LAUGH]
Yeah.
I don't wanna.
Anyway, I don't want anything to choke.
[LAUGH].
I also feel like sometimes it can be like a keep-out, like the equivalent of, like, a keep-out sign.
Oh.
You know?
It's just like an, an extra layer of protection for your house.
Right.
The equivalent of the Do Not Disturb.
Like a surveillance camera, yeah.
The do not disturb sign on at the door.
[LAUGH].
Like the UPS guy was just about to knock on the door and then oh, he's busy.
Better just leave a sticky note for this guy.
[LAUGH].
Don't wanna, don't want him coming to the door right now, if you know what I mean.
Yeah.
Oh man, that is sexy.
That's what's happening.
All right.
That's what's, that's what's up.
Well that's the Love Palz.
Go and check it out.
Go and view the taste portion of this site, cuz it's pretty sexy.
Okay.
Time for some good old fashioned Watch Dog reviewing.
So you know, I didn't put this story into the rundown.
[LAUGH] But you wrote it.
But I wrote the damn thing.
So, let me give you a brief background on Watchdogs for everybody that is unfamiliar with the franchise.
Watchdogs is [LAUGH].
Well why don't you narrate some of the gameplay?
Tell me what you think is happening.
Oh, you started to play.
Okay yeah, so.
Here I am.
This is a character named Joe, who beats off.
[LAUGH] And.
What's he wearing under his trench coat?
[LAUGH] Yeah, he, he lives in a dystopian Chicago in the future, right?
No, no it's present day.
Okay, present day Chicago.
But the whole city is basically wrapped up in this operating system.
It's all run by technology called CTOS.
Alright.
CTOS for short or ka-toss, whichever part of Chicago you're from.
[LAUGH].
And anyway, the CTOS system basically employs a bunch of surveillance cameras and everything's rigged to a grid, and it's your job as this character to you know, just walk around and look at things [LAUGH].
[LAUGH] Apparently, according to this video.
They just walk very slowly and observe the graphic quality.
[LAUGH] If you do walk this slow in the game, you just hate your life,
[LAUGH].
Because nobody on Earth plays the game this slowly.
Yeah.
No, the real story here is that you're a hacker, right?
Yeah.
You're basically like a hacker in a trench coat.
And you go around and you use your smartphone to basically hack into places and kill your enemies, right?
It's basically a revenge story, from what I understand.
Most of it is.
What's his name again?
His name's Aiden Pearce.
Aiden Pearce.
Close enough.
So here's the, the deal with Watch Dogs.
Everyone remembers 2012, E3 was, was it's big coming out party,.
Yeah.
And you know, in my opinion, it got so much hype that there was almost, it was doomed from the start.
Mm-hm.
Like people thought it was so revolutionary, and so enticing that they just lost their minds with it.
Yeah.
And you know, I'm definitely guilty of that as well.
I was part of the hype party, right?
For sure.
Mm-hm.
Yeah, I remember you were, you were.
I was talking it up, you know.
Definitely.
Even though I'd only see the bit and drips and [UNKNOWN] of game play.
Mm-hm.
And I only didn't only really only got to play it until you know like a year ago for the first time.
Nevertheless, and Mark you were with me.
We went to a Watchdogs demo at E3 last year, did we not?
Yeah, we saw the preview.
We saw the preview.
I always think it's funny, kinda like with what they're showing right now.
They play in a very cinematic style, in a way that we would never play.
Right.
Like they made sure to do like a 360, really slow spin.
Right.
Well, it's interesting, the way, you know?
And, and that's just like, they just try to present it for.
Of course.
It's all about presentation.
They, you know?
The people who play this game, play it in a way that does look more dramatic.
And that's just the way that it's always been.
Wait, I have a question.
Sure.
Oh no.
Oh no, no, no.
You go on.
No, I just had a question, cuz I notice sometimes when I have people watch me play, like when I have friends come over, I do that on purpose.
You do that.
Yeah, of course.
I don't really mean to, but I'm sure you do the same thing.
I do, because you want.
You want them, you want an audience, and you wanted, you want to entertain them.
Right, you want.
Yeah.
The people you're showing the game to like it, just the way the demoers at Ubisoft want you to like the game they're demoing.
Aw, aw.
It is a, it is a very human thing to do.
True.
Nevertheless, Watchdogs in my opinion, is a disappointment.
It sort of reminds me of Grand Theft Auto.
Well, and that's a big reason why I believe the game was delayed.
It was gonna be released last year right after Grand Theft Auto 5. Grand Theft Auto 5 comes out, and it is this magnificent success that is so good on so many levels.
You know, maybe we still have to fill up a little bit of the intimidation and wanted to distance themselves from Grand Theft Auto, and I think that move was deliberate.
They, they really did want to separate and create some you know, distance between the two.
Do you like, do you like being able to have control over surveillance cameras, and all, because it's such an open world and you can control almost everything.
Do you like that, or do you feel like, that you, you lose something because there are so many options?
Well, it's funny.
There's I, I feel a lot of different ways about it.
For me, number one, first and foremost, I don't think the hacking mechanic is a strong enough system to carry it, the entire game.
You know, I think in playing through Watch Dogs, I realized that all the hacking really does is deconstruct the basic like luxuries you have in a video game anyway.
Yeah.
Like you all, you, in a game, you always know where somebody is hiding.
You have a map.
You have a thing.
What Watch Dogs really does is kinda just like deconstruct that for you, and you kind of play that deconstruction in a way, if that makes any sense.
So there's no map?
Oh, there is a map.
There is a map.
Yeah.
But I'm saying like the things in the game that you're doing are supposed to give you this sense of all powerful you know, surveillance.
Yeah.
It's just giving you like a realistic explanation whereas other games, it's like, oh, I have a map, and there's no reason why, like I can see where this other person is.
Kinda, kinda, yeah, yeah but.
But this game explains itself.
So you walk around and you have the ability to find out very top level information about anyone there.
huh.
The problem is that you really can't do a lot with that information.
Every now and then, that'll unlock a side quest, but you would get to that side quest anyway.
Mm-hm.
I, again, I don't think, I think the, the big reason the game falls short for me is because they failed to really deliver on the initial promise.
That the teasing of the game sort of, you know teased.
It, it, it really made you think that you were gonna have a, a certain set of controls over the world that didn't really come to fruition.
Right.
When you realize the limits of the hacking in the game,.
All of a sudden, the whole thing feels very small.
And all you can do is, is you can bust a pipe.
You, you have to sort of slingshot from camera to camera.
huh.
And that's really it.
And, and you're not getting.
I've heard that you could open, you know.
You could basically turn around bridges.
Yeah.
And, and block off different areas.
I've read that sort of makes the game a little more expansive, but you don't think so?
Well, I mean, I don't think that makes it expansive.
It's just stuff you can do.
And, and after awhile it's just like, well I can, I can make it through this mission.
Or just [INAUDIBLE] [CROSSTALK].
One or two ways.
Or, you know, like.
There doesn't, to me there's not a lot of open-endedness to the whole thing.
You know, a lot of the missions feel like they're just drawn out versions of the side quests.
Mm-hm.
And look, they are directly competing with the likes of Grand Theft Auto.
It's Grand Theft Auto with a hacking cell phone.
And you know, it's easy to say this, but Grand Theft Auto does a much better job at creating an immersive environment.
So, that's a big part of it.
You know, look, these parts are fun, where you take down enemies using the, the environment.
That's a lot of fun.
Mm-hm.
But, after a while, you've done it.
And, and you're sort of left wanting a little bit more.
I think you know, the game had so much hype and so much to live up to, that it really could do nothing but disappoint people.
Mm-hm.
Had this not been the wild buzz-worthy success that it came to be over the last two years.
Came out on its own and then did this?
Mm hm.
I think I might be a little more positive for it.
Don't get me wrong, there's a lot fun to have in Watchdogs,.
huh.
But for me, for someone who, who's, who follows games and for a lot of gamers who have, who have been drooling over this and had it shoved down your throats for two years.
Mm-hm.
it, it, it comes up a little short for me.
Something I thought was interesting in, in just reading some initial reviews of the game is that, a lot of people are complaining that the resolution of the graphics actually is not as good, depending on which system you're using it on.
Yeah, it's a better resolution on PS4 than on Xbox.
Or, or PC than either console.
Yeah, PC's a weird.
You can get up to 4K apparently on the PC?
Ubisoft has a weird track record with the success of it.
That's interesting.
I didn't think, I didn't know that you could even do that, right?
So you could play this game at 960 on the Xbox and 1080 on the PlayStation, but then up to 4K on a PC?
That's a huge difference.
I'm not, yeah, I'm not 100% sure if those console resolutions are correct, but if you do have a very powerful, there's no limit.
We're, Mark and I were talking about this before.
Like, you can get your PC to play a game as, as good as the source you know, will let it play.
Mm-hm.
So.
Do you think it's a little deceiving for people that maybe watch the trailer at E3, assuming they probably showed it on a PC?
For the best possible graphics.
[CROSSTALK].
That's just part, that's just the way, that's the way the industry works.
Yeah, and then if you're eventually going to buy it on the Xbox, then it won't look nearly as good as you did when you first got it.
Well, I don't think the difference is so negligible almost.
Yeah I think the difference is, once you're playing it on a next gen console.
Yeah.
I think the difference is negligible.
You have to really be paying close attention to the graphics.
Yeah.
In order to, to see a huge difference there.
For sure, for sure.
I remember the big draw for Grand Theft Auto when it came out last year was all the side missions really extended the game play.
Is that the case here?
No.
Or are they just really?
I, I think there's a lot of redundancy, there's one or two that are really fun.
A lot of it is, is trite, and it gets boring.
Hm.
And you know, I was bored with the game by the time I finished it.
I was bored with it.
And that to me is, is just like a clear case of like.
Yeah, it just you know, it just didn't do what I wanted it to do.
I did not have that feeling.
Yeah.
When you.
And I, I go back to GTN.
I still play it, and it's just on a different level.
And that, I don't, I'm not trying to take anything away from Ubisoft, but when you go after that competition.
You, I mean look, they do things that Grand Theft Auto does.
The whole, even down to like the trivial things like the radio when you get in the car.
Right, yeah.
And how there's like eleven different radio stations in GTA 5, and then here it's just like a playlist of songs.
Mm-hm.
There's, it's the little things like that.
you know.
It's weird.
Ubisoft has this with a lot of their franchises, like Far Cry 3, Assassin's Creed.
They're basically the same game over and over, just built around a similar structuring, where you have to unlock an area by reaching a certain view point.
And then from that view point, you get to access the rest of the, the district.
And that is the same sort of mechanic in Watchdogs.
It's the same thing!
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
It, it''s not a bad game.
You know, I, I think the scores have been a little high, because when you read the reviews of all these games.
Mm-hm.
They, they read like six and sevens, but they're getting the sevens and eights.
But that's just my opinion.
I'm only one reviewer.
Okay.
So.
What would you say about the, the narrative of the game?
The story's not good.
Yeah?
It's not a good story.
The story.
It's all over the place, it's disjointed, it can.
It's filled with characters I simply don't give a crap about.
Do you learn more about his backstory as you play the game?
You do.
But it's the same thing you've heard a million times before.
Yeah.
You're like, you know?
It's probably cuz I see this game and I kind of think of Saints Reel four is the most recent one.
Yeah.
And what I really liked about that game was that it did not take itself seriously at all.
Right.
And it was kind of just like this **** show of like, comedy and super.
Right.
And super powers.
And some of the mini-games were like secondary, but I feel like it almost.
You didn't really need to pay attention to that, because it was, it was just a, it, it didn't take itself seriously.
And I, I, I felt like it, it, it helps games like that, like if there's a plot that doesn't really make sense and is just, is disjointed, you should sort of find a way to fill in the gaps.
Yeah.
And some games do that, and some games don't.
But it's just interesting how much of a difference that can make.
Part, part, that's part of the reason.
And how sometimes I can just seem sec, secondary as a developer maybe, you know.
You get through like, really cool bits of the game that are great to show off during E3, but then later on you know, you have like a third party play it and then, they're the people that are going to review the game and all that stuff.
Sure.
But you don't really think about that.
It's all about percentages.
Yeah.
It really is.
And for me, you're right.
Part of the reason Watchdogs didn't work for me.
Because it kinda took itself too seriously and that game play didn't always you know, sort of mesh with that you know, serious ambition.
Nevertheless, do yourself a favor and go read my review of the game.
It's on CNET .com right now and just search for it.
I think it's on the front door right now as well.
Please read the review, let me know what you think, but there you have it.
Watchdogs.
We're gonna see a lot of new stuff at E3 2014 when we go.
Man, only a week and a half away.
Sot that'll be exciting.
But I think what this taught us was that maybe you keep your you know, hype in check.
Mm-hm.
When it comes to these games.
I've taught myself to do that over the last you know, decade.
I will admit, I did go a little overboard with with Watchdogs, but you know, lesson learned.
That's how, that's how it crumbles, man.
Okay.
That's how the cookie crumbles.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Isn't it always?
This one crumbles a lot.
This one crumbled a little bit, you know.
But, Pete.
Look, again, it's not a terrible game.
Just didn't live up to the hype.
Okay.
There you have it.
Alright, cool.
I think that's gonna do it for us, right?
Yeah, we're never gonna get through the Ebay story.
No, yeah, forget it.
Alright, we'll try and do that tomorrow.
Shoot us an email to 404@cnet.com.
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit.
Let me know what you think about the Watchdogs review.
Don't forget Shannon Cook returns to the show on Friday.
We'll have Jill next week, and that will do it for us, and I believe Ariel's back tomorrow, if I'm not mistaken.
Oh, okay, great, yeah.
Excellent.
That'll do it for us, guys.
Thanks so much for tuning in.
This has been the 404 show high tech.
Low Brown,' til tomorrow.
I'm Jeff Bakalar.
I'm Justin Yu.
I'm Mark Wesaya.
Thanks so much for tuning in, guys.
We will see you, tomorrow.
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