[NOISE]
Dear Apple, Google, Microsoft, Fitbit, Jawbone, Samsung, and every other company out there making some kind of fitness wearable, please just stop.
I think you think that you're really helping people, that you're inspiring healthy habits and changing lives with technology, but here's what you're doing.
You're exploiting our insecurity with overpriced bracelets that collect mostly pointless information.
Having a constant measurement of my heart rate and every step I take doesn't make me healthy, it make me neurotic.
That said, I have a suggestion.
If you really want to motivate people to make healthy changes in their lives, turn these bracelets into death clocks.
You know, just an educated guess on how many days have left to live.
That's all any fitness gadget really is.
From the Thigh Master to the Shake Weight, to the Nike Fuel Band.
They're all just vain attempts to slow down the reaper.
And as anyone with a dusty Nordic Track in the basement can tell you, gadgets can't magically make you skinny.
So people.
Save your money.
Live your life.
Hit the gym.
Go for a walk if you want to, but don't slap some corporate branded shackle to your wrist and call it progress.
Just another fitness gadget in a long, long line of gadgets that have come before it.
Your results may vary, but for the corporations pumping these things out, it's a guaranteed profit.
Nothing.
[MUSIC]
