Hey, everyone, I�m Molly Wood, and welcometo the Buzz Report, the show about the technews that everyone is talking about.
Thisweek, Yahoo�s totally tacky CEO breakup, TheBodyguard re-imagined at Apple headquarters,and Groupon�s IPO is starting to look like asmoking crater.
But there�s good news up first, with the Gadgetof the Week.
The Gadget of the Week is the Droid Bionic, atlong last!
After an almost nine-month wait, theMotorola SUPERPHONE that was announcedat CES finally comes out this week, and it�s awhole NEW superphone now.
In fact, the onlydisappointment now is that it doesn�t make the 6million dollar man bionic noise as its default ringtone.
It�s the first dual-core phone to support Verizon�s4G network.
A sleek new form factor � that�sroughly as big as your entire face, thanks to the4.3-inch screen on it.
An 8 megapixel camera,HD video capture, a mobile hotspot feature,Gingerbread, and a BEEFY new battery thatshould stand up to the fact that it�s a little tinysupercomputer.
Well.
I mean.
Tiny is relative, Iguess.
I was just hoping for a slightly biggerscreen.
I don�t know.
Just me?
And now forthe news.
Carol Bartz was fired as Yahoo�sCEO this week, and in her trademark style, shetold it like it was.
She sent an email toemployees that said,To all,I am very sad to tell you that I�ve just been firedover the phone by Yahoo�s Chairman of theBoard.
It has been my pleasure to work with allof you and I wish you only the best goingforward.
CarolActually, I can�t believe there weren�t a fewswear words in that e-mail.
Fired over thephone?
Really?
Classy.
Anyway, the phonefiring comes as Yahoo has continued to make alot of money -- more than a billion dollars inpure profit in 2010 -- and attract a lot of users,but just didn�t have any focus or nerd love orshareholder trust.
Of course, everyoneimmediately started wondering whether Yahoowas a takeover target, although co-founder andformer CEO Jerry Yang told employees Yahooisn�t for sale, everything is business as usual,they�re going to buckle down and grow, andeven though the board SEEMS like it doesn�thave a plan but fired the CEO anyway, it�s � allgoing to be fine.
Oh, Yahoo.
Remember thatone time in the bathroom when Microsoftwanted to marry you and I told you to take thedamn ring?
He ain�t showin� up in a limo like Mr.Big, girlfriend.
That ship has SAILED.
Apple is hoping to lock the barn door after thehorses went out to bars and left iPhones inthem.
The company has posted two job listingsfor product security management specialists.
Isuggest one guy named Stone and anothernamed Killa.
Sprint has added its signature to a new lawsuitintended to block the proposed AT&T / T-Mobile merger.
Meanwhile, another hearing onthe merger proposal is happening September21st in Washington, where AT&T is expectedto continue arguing that the merger will benothing but awesomesauce and unicorn breathif you would only just listen, what are you notunderstanding here, it�s all so clear, don�t youSEE!?This is like the the part of the wedding where thepriest says, does anyone have any objectionsto this union, and every single hand in thechurch goes UP.
Not just the one ex-boyfriendwho had too much to drink before the wedding.
EVERYONE.
Groupon has canceled its IPO road show,after reports the company might have violatedSEC quiet period rules when its CEO wrotea big internal memo about how great theyare that was immediately leaked to the WallStreet Journal.
That�s not what �quiet period�means.
The company is reportedly thinkingabout delaying its IPO because the market hasbeen so volatile lately.
Also, because of all thereports that they�re losing money and users at aseriously alarming rate.
Also because of reportsthat their 30-year-old CEO is totally arrogant,thinks rules don�t apply to him, and is going toride his steed of hubris right into the ground andtake the whole deals business with them.
I betquiet period sounds kind of good to them rightnow.
And finally, let�s have a look at what�s cloggingthe tubes.
I�ve been ignoring the entire storyabout Michael Arrington and TechCrunchbecause I don�t really care that much and it feelslike Valley inside baseball stuff.
BUT, if it�s bigenough for the crew at the Taiwanese newsanimation desk, it�s big enough for me.
There, it all makes sense now, right?
Yeah,no, I still don�t really care.
And that�s the Buzz Report for this week,everyone.
I�m Molly Wood and thanks forwatching.
