Woman seeking boyfriend wants access to his server
A Japanese programmer at a social-gaming company needs love. Hers, though, is a very precise, exacting kind of love.
You can meet a new lover in unexpected places -- like on a bus, at a winery, or at a pharmacy counter.
Such a chance encounter allows for the relationship to develop organically, right down to the bitter organic end.
For some people, though, chance encounters tend not to offer the precision they require. One of those people is Japanese programmer Noriko Higashi.
She, you see, knows precisely what she wants. Please believe me, it's quite a lot.
In order to find the man of her (rational) dreams, Higashi decided to advertise on social-coding site GitHub. Perhaps because she works for a social-gaming company, she believes she will, um, git her heart's desire.
I would like to warn any potential suitors reading this, however, to beware of the high bar Higashi has set.
Here is but a sampling of her requests:
- Someone who has at least 5 friends from elementary school, high school, or university that they still keep in contact with.
- Someone who has professional relationships, which have lasted at least one year, with over 20 people (this includes relationships on Facebook).
- Someone who can speak with his neighbors (regardless of their age or gender) for at least 30 minutes.
- Someone who enjoys interacting with young children.
- Someone who likes eating vegetables and natto.
- Someone who does not become jealous of rich, beautiful, or famous people.
- Someone who does not compare himself to others, gloating or feeling a general sense of superiority.
I worry that "someone who likes eating vegetables and natto" is inconsistent with "someone who does not compare himself to others, gloating or feeling a general sense of superiority."
I worry even more that another requirement is: "Someone who will let me help them maintain their own server (Required)."
This is in addition to requesting that you don't compare her to her mother, do sympathize with the works of Peter Drucker, and play a maximum of 1 hour's worth of video games a day.
Oh, wait. And you have to prefer Mac or Linux over Windows.
Higashi is nothing if not generous. For, being of an essentially loving mind, she requires that you match only 28 of the 30 total demands she has listed. That is my definition of a tolerant woman.
In some ways, she puts us mere mortal humans to shame. For me, a sense of humor, bright eyes, a soupcon of affectionate nature, and essential cleanliness normally suffice.
Yet, in NerdWorld, there are clearly higher standards.
I wonder whether any Mac- and Linux-loving readers will be tempted to reply to this highbrow offer.
I wonder if, once you give up access to your server, it will be love at first sight.