"Dosvidanija. I am being Maria Sharapova, former World No. 1 and three-time Grand Slam winner. You may be knowing me as the fit bird off the tennis. Sometimes I like to talk to my friends and family but they are not around, so I cannot. Shrug, look sad. Fortunately, Sony Ericsson has come to my rescue with my new mobile phone: the T707. Smile, hold up phone. Oh, I am not to say these bits? Now I am understanding.
"The T707 lights up when I receive a call, and I can personalise different lighting effects for all of my friends. It is a clamshell phone with a 56mm (2.2-inch) screen, 3.2-megapixel camera with geotagging, MP3 player and FM radio. It supports GSM and EDGE and GPRS and HSDPA. I can transfer my files via Bluetooth or PC sync, and I can download music, games and ringtones at the touch of a button with PlayNow. Point to phone.
"I can switch off the ringtone and the alarm with a wave of my backhand. If I am too busy modelling and I cannot be answering a phone call, I simply am waving my hand over the phone to say 'No Father! I am tired of playing tennis and I do not want to practise any more! You stole my youth --' ah, this is not in the script, I am sorry.
"There are three colours available. These are being mysterious black, spring rose and lucid blue. I am wondering, why do Sony Ericsson have the Memory Sticks when everybody else is being using the microSD -- ah, stick to the script, da. Prasti.
"The wallpapers on the little screen are changing depending on the time of day so I can tell what is the time by looking at my phone. Is this the end? Please to make it out to cash, those Memory Sticks are not being cheap. Spasibo. Vyzdoravlivaj skoree."