Top ten geek haircuts

We've all got hair, but whatever your attitude to your own dorky bouffant there have been some corkers in the world of geeks over the years, so let's celebrate some of the best

Geeks can have some marvellous hair when they put their mighty minds to it. All of the nerds in this list deserve credit for their first-rate dork hair. It's either naturally brilliant, or created with clever styling and a judicious use of hair products. Some of the hair in our list has developed through total neglect. And that's cool too, because you're either too busy being a geek to get a haircut, or you're sticking it to the man with your unruly mop. -Ian Morris

Apple haircut dude: Fanboy geek
When it comes to geek devotion, it doesn't get more fanboyish than Apple enthusiasts. We've all met them -- some of us even had to fight to get into the computer lab at university because they were clogging it up playing Marathon.

But no matter how bad they smell, or how many times they insist that .htm is inferior to .html as a file extension, they know how to worship at the alter of St Steve. Here we see a perfect example of rabid fanboyism in action -- a man (or conceivably a woman), presumably with some sort of full-time job, has carved the Apple logo into his hair. His mother must be so proud. The image above is actually the cover of a book, The Cult of Mac, by Leander Kahney, but real-life people have actually done this. Seriously.

Leia: Geek princess
It's hard to find a geek who doesn't want to single-handedly rebuild and repopulate the destroyed planet Alderaan with Princess Leia. And you can't argue that she has a frankly epic haircut.

The clearest indication that this style is timeless is that George Lucas hasn't yet been tempted to whip out his special-effects team and have them digitally replace it with a nice hat or a walkie-talkie or something.

Beaker: Muppet geek
Probably the second geekiest Muppet, after Dr Bunsen Honeydew. Beaker may not get to run the experiments, but he generally does get to take part most of the time.

But when it comes to nerdy haircuts, he really can't be beaten. His fabulous shock of red hair sets him apart in the world of geekery. He looks like he's had a hair transplant from one of those little troll dolls that were popular a number of years ago.

Albert Einstein: Geek genius
Many would say that Einstein is the uber-geek, the king of nerds, the dork lord. His incredible contributions to physics changed the way we look at the world. He even won a Nobel prize -- and all without ever having been to a stylist. Sure, he had a haircut or two, but just to remove some of the lengthier hair rather than to add some style. 

Like so many of us geeks, Einstein clearly didn't give a hoot about his appearance, preferring instead to spend time geeking out and generally being one of the most brilliant minds in the history of science. We use the same defence when people ask us why we look like tramps -- it's because we're highly creative tech journalists. And nothing to do with terrible laziness. 

Mr Spock: Alien geekform
If you were travelling through space you'd want someone reliable as your science officer, and a good haircut is as much a sign of reliability as turning up to work on time every day, and having nice shiny shoes. Certainly, there's no room for frivolity with Mr Spock's hair.

We think it's a shame that there was never a story about aliens stealing Mr Spock's hair -- they nicked his brain, but they left that perfectly trimmed Vulcan Barnet undisturbed.

Lisa Simpson: A geek alone
We've been in trouble before for including Lisa Simpson in our list of top girl geeks. Many of you argued that as a cartoon character she doesn't qualify, but her heartfelt struggle to be true to her geekiness while all around her fail to understand strikes a chord in dorks everywhere.

Lisa's hair is also a work of art, so it would be a crime against humanity not to pay tribute to it here. Lisa's hair is styled into eight spikes, which makes it mathematically pleasing, as well as visually stimulating.

Lisa also has the luxury of all-natural yellow hair, unlike some other TV stars who have to get their yellow out of a bottle.

Bill Gates: WinGeek
Bill used to have mental hair, but now has the sort of sensible haircut a top-level position in one of the world's largest companies requires.

The good news is that Bill now looks at least 300 per cent cooler than he did when he started Microsoft. Plus he's stopped participating in these ludicrous photo shoots.

Steve Jobs: Geek icon
These days there isn't much interesting to say about Steve's hair. It's very standard, and unlikely to cause a stir in the trousers of even the most avid Apple evangelist (see page 1). That's a shame, because back in the day, Jobsie had some tremendous locks.

The image above shows him back in the day, when he had a parting which he wore at a jaunty angle. Indeed, although he's wearing a suit, this early cut is very significant because it's neither a side parting, nor a centre parting. We'll tell you what it is -- it's a casual poke at the establishment.

These days he dresses like your dad, but we have a feeling that when he gets home he puts on an anime DVD and drinks a can of Mountain Dew like the rest of us dorks.

Richard Stallman: Open-source beard
Until now, we've concentrated on the best of hair, but not really considered all the facial hair it's possible to grow. Stallman -- considered to be the father of the open-source movement and a hero to many -- is the only real top-notch geek we've discovered who's managed some awesome face fluff.

Stallman didn't have a private residence and lived on campus at MIT for many years, according to Wikipedia, proving that he was the ultimate geek by not wanting to leave their ultra-fast leased line.

Nate Lanxon: Lolgeek
Yes, that's right, our very own MP3 & Digital Music man Nate is our final selection. There's no doubt at all that Nate is a geek, and a very fine one at that. He lols at lolcats on a daily basis, he loves anime, he's an avid gamer and is very passionate about OGG and FLAC.

Because Nate is neither a fictional character, a cartoon or dead (and sits next to us), we were able to ask him about his fabulous hair with some ease. It turns out that, like most geeks, Nate tends to leave long gaps between visits to the hairdresser. When he does go, he visits a salon with PCs and Internet access and is prepared to pay a handsome premium for the privilege.

 

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