Spider-Man and two Captain Americas in Hollywood brawl
Following a British altercation between fans of "Doctor Who" and "Star Wars," Hollywood witnesses a superhero brawl, reportedly over sidewalk territory in front of a theater.
When superheroes fight each other, there is always the assumption that one side must be on drugs or in the control of some devious mastermind who knows the superhero's one touching weakness.
Neither may have been the case on Wednesday, when superheroes took their battle not to the sets of Hollywood, but to its streets.
As CBS Los Angeles reports, the Madame Tussauds kiosk -- just inches away from the famed Dolby Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard -- was the scene of an ugly meeting of the ripped (or not) bodies.
A brouhaha erupted over tourist harassment and who owned the territorial rights to certain pavement slabs that might offer the finest of tips to superhero impersonators.
"That is not good for the image, the perception, for the spirit of Hollywood," declared Captain America -- aka Juan Diego.
Diego, it seems, was one of the Captain Americas involved
A witness, Tussauds employee Bernardo Stroud, offered that two Captain Americas and one lone Spider-Man were circling.
"Captain America just hit one of them," he told CBS. He said that Spider-Man was bleeding.
"The tourists kinda looked around as if they were enjoying the moment," he continued. But this cannot have been good for business -- the superhero business, that is.
Superheroes are supposed to have certain standards. They are here to defend the people, not fight each other.
Still, you might be wondering what Batman thought about this. Was he above the fray?
Well, he told CBS: "I think it was just hostility that had to be let out." This Batman was, oddly, not called Bruce Wayne, but AC Simmons.
"There's a group of characters that are actually strong-arming tourists and actually asking for $20 tips, which is ridiculous," Batman said.
The mere idea of a superhero needing tips may boggle many a mind.
Still, it's clear that the world of fantasy does breed violence among terrestrial beings. Why, only the other day, fans of "Doctor Who" and "Star Wars"
Perhaps, though, superheroes must fight -- which is why the authorities might want to take advantage.
Perhaps they could erect a ring on Hollywood Boulevard. Every day, two different superheroes would slug it out. Some days, there might be tag-team fights or even cage matches.
I feel confident that this would be a vast money-spinner and would avoid any unseemly begging for a mere $20 tip.