Ladies, hire someone online to (just) sleep with you
A Japanese Web site offers a man to share a woman's bed (and no more) for a mere $364. The idea came from a TV series, in which a divorced woman has trouble sleeping alone.
Today, I am just speaking to the ladies.
But the men can listen in.
Ladies, you know that feeling when you've dumped someone and you feel a little guilty? You know that you felt strong when you dumped him, but now you wish you hadn't.
But you don't have the courage to contact him, so you just wish that there was someone nice to share your bed and bring a little warmth to your miserable nights.
Perhaps, though, you've been dumped. The empty-bed feeling's the same.
There's no one there. And who wants to risk a one-night stand with a co-worker? Or, worse, someone you met on Facebook?
Ladies, I am here to rescue you from your plight, from those sleepless nights of cold and loneliness.
For here is Soine-ya Prime.
It's a funny name. But not so funny in Japanese.
You see, this is a site where you pay $364 in order to have a very nice boy sleep next to you.
You will immediately be thinking that there will surely be funny business involved. You know, monkey business.
My translators at Gizmodo tell me this site has strict rules.
The idea for it came from a Japanese TV series called Shimshima. It was about a woman who got divorced and had trouble sleeping.
You see, Japan has more sophisticated TV than does the U.S. Indeed, this one had the catchphrase "Sleeping with men makes women stronger."
So on Soine-ya Prime, there will be no hankering for hanky-panky. You are allowed to fall asleep in this gorgeous boy's arms. You can take him on a date. You can have him perform simple cleaning tasks. (Boys don't do complicated cleaning tasks.) You can even have him cook for you.
But any notion of carnality is verboten. Any touching of genitals will be sorely punished.
Any idea of showering with him, kissing him, photographing him or doing anything that might arouse his baser instincts is strictly not allowed.
Wandering around the site, I notice how sweet and innocent all the boys on offer look. Yes, your Tokyo Tommy or your Shizuoka-Ken Doll seems like such a lovely, fragrant boy.
Each one must definitely be worth $364 for 7 hours.
And yet as I peruse more closely, I notice that each boy's profile seems to list his blood type. This is a curious nuance, if the intention is for you only to fall asleep in his arms.
I have no evidence that this sleeping-in-the-arms site has led to something more akin to "Sleepless In Seattle."
However, there is something refreshing about the Web being used to foster subtler forms of relationship than those normally offered by dating sites, social networking sites and even sites that are visited by senior police officers, politicians, CEOs and others in positions of power.