Internet citizens, don't let Apple win Greatest Gadget of the 21st century

People of the Internet, Apple is now nominated in three of the remaining four categories of our fabulous Greatest Gadget competition and it just won't do. I will not stand for it.

People of the Internet, I bring grave news. Apple is now nominated in three of the remaining four categories of our fabulous Greatest Gadget competition. This will not do. I will not stand for it.

I admit, part of me is bitter because my beloved Kuro TV has just lost out to some idiotic email phone. But mostly, I'm cross because Apple doesn't need any more encouragement.

Take the Kuro. Pioneer stopped making TVs a couple of years ago. We've been depressed about this awful state of affairs ever since, and we're damn sure Pioneer would have loved to win. You never know, it might have gone some way to persuade it to make amazing TVs again.

The Kuro wasn't knocked out by an Apple device, but without your vote, Sky+ HD might lose to the iPod classic. What would you prefer, something that allows you to record your favourite TV shows in HD, or a jumped-up MP3 player that should've been retired years ago?

What about the TomTom's amazing sat-nav, up against the iMac? TomTom has helped millions find their way to countless zoos and beauty spots over the years, and we've no doubt that without TomTom plenty of Apple fans would have got lost on their way to the Apple Store.

So ladies and gentlemen, I'm asking you. No, begging you: don't vote for Apple's products. It's already got all the reward it needs in the billions of dollars stacked up in its bank and critical and popular acclaim. I'm even prepared to put aside my hatred of BlackBerry and urge you to vote for it instead of the iPhone. Please, it really needs your help, it's taking an absolute shellacking. And don't forget to vote for non-Apple products in the final rounds, otherwise the iPhone is going to walk away with it.

After all, what's the iPhone ever done for us? Well, obviously there's the retina display, revolutionary touchscreen and world-class app store. But apart from that, what's the iPhone ever done for us?

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