Now, I'm not saying I'm famous, but I've mingled with F1 drivers, , and signed the odd autograph for geeks who appreciate my work. So I wasn't surprised when Now magazine published a snap of me cuddling up to Kelly Osbourne -- but did it really have to edit me out of the damn picture?
The image of myself and KO (we're on pet-name terms) should have been testament to my rising stardom. It should have signalled my arrival into the ranks of the Z-list elite -- heralding the day when I could stand shoulder to shoulder with Big Brother losers and take pride in showing my pants as I exited vehicles. Instead, Now cropped most of my face off, leaving one eyeball and my disembodied hand resting eerily on KO's shoulder.
It probably regrets the mistake now I've pointed it out. Its paparazzo should have known it was I that was the big news and not Osbeezy. After all, she had attended a party thrown on behalf of journos such as myself. It wasn't as if I was gatecrashing a celeb shindig -- this was Skate Almighty, an event sponsored by technology company Nokia.
Sure, they didn't actually have any phones there for us to test. And the night did seem geared more towards plying 'celebs' such as Jack Tweed, Bianca Gascoigne and Kimberly Stewart with drink in the hope they'd do something outrageous in front of a Nokia logo, but c'mon, Now could have left my face in the picture. Its editorial team could at least have suggested I was the O-meister's mystery man.
Okay, I admit it. I'm a nobody. My dad has never bitten the head off a bat and my mum doesn't judge Britain's Got Talent, but I'm still upset. In protest, here's a picture of me and Kelly -- with half her face chopped off. How do you like me now, Now?!
Some famous rocker's daughter and Rory Reid