Colbert: We must save 'mom-and-pop sites like Bing'

In an impassioned defense of Net neutrality, Stephen Colbert says we must rise up against cable companies.

Mom and pop? The Colbert Report/Hulu screenshot by Chris Matysczyk/CNET

If you're not going to fight, Stephen Colbert is going to do it for you.

The legendary campaigner against all things unfair and irrational has suddenly heard that his access to free sex might be threatened.

Yes, Net neutrality might drift into the ether currently occupied by privacy, security, and reality singing shows.

This might have a catastrophic effect on human freedoms. Or merely human doms.

What if Comcast, Time Warner Cable, and their brethren carve up the Internet, thereby carving greater chunks out of our pockets?

The Web was built on equality.

Therefore, he argued: "Under Net neutrality, every site on the Internet has to be equally accessible, whether it be a huge behemoth like Google, or a small mom-and-pop site like Bing."

If suddenly people had greater access to Google than to Bing, tragedy would reign. Oligarchy wouldn't be far behind.

The great thinker then fell upon a brilliant idea.

"We must rise as one against the cable companies!" he cried.

How could it be that no one had thought of this before? How could it be this simple, effective solution hadn't already been placed before the powers-that-be, be they truly powerful or not?

How could it be, moreover, that cable channel Comedy Central was allowing him to say these things, things that might appear on the Internet?

Well, you'll have to watch until the very end to see how power speaks to truth.

 

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