Four fake automotive 'announcements' for April Fools' 2013 (roundup)

Volvo takes a moment on April Fools' Day 2013 to poke fun at its obsession with safety with the "announcement" of the External Vehicle Protection (EnVeloP) system. When the system detects that a collision is imminent and unavoidable, a full-vehicle external airbag is deployed from the roof, encasing the car is a cushion of air and minimizing damage. Volvo's fake release mentions that the system even deploys when coming in contact with water, leading me to believe that it floats, too.

The EnVeloP is rather extreme and a bit goofy, but Volvo really does offer an external pedestrian safety airbag on the 2013 V40. Perhaps today's April Fools' will be tomorrow's reality.

Mini's idea of an April Fools' joke is to transform your app-enabled Cooper into a sort of OkCupid on wheels.

Mini drivers looking for love are instructed to install the fake Connect Us app update, which looks at your driving style (based on accelerator, steering, and braking inputs) and attempts to match you up with other Mini drivers with compatible driving styles and interests, the latter being based on Google Local searched destinations and Foursquare ratings. When a match is found, the faux-app directs the two lovebirds to a destination that they're both likely to enjoy.

Interestingly, Ford has already beaten Mini to the car love punch with its very real announcement of BeCouply compatibility for Ford Sync AppLink.

If I'm honest, I thought that the 2014 Honda Odyssey's newest feature, a built-in Shop-Vac-style vacuum cleaner that debuted at the 2013 New York auto show, was Honda's idea of an April Fools' joke. Alas, that feature turned out to be a very real, likely useful addition to the minivan's toolkit.

Today, the automaker takes the joke a step further with announcement of the HondaHAIR, a farcical Honda Genuine Accessory that allows the Odyssey's vacuum cleaner into cut your hair. Check out the video below to see the HondaHAIR attachment in action.

The 2013 Subaru BRZ is pretty awesome, but enthusiasts have been clamoring for more from the rear-drive sports car since the day it hit dealerships. In its April 1 press release, the automaker finally "surrenders" to the automotive media and "confirms" that it will be offering an all-wheel drive, twin-turbo, convertible, two-seater, diesel hybrid BRZ for sale in 2015.

Subaru goes on to state, "Having just launched the current model to widespread critical acclaim, we are tired of fighting off the constant speculation about what’s 'next' and so we are just giving in and delivering all the speculation in one vehicle." Passive aggressive much, Subaru?

Unfortunately, the automaker couldn't be bothered to even photoshop an image to accompany its half-attempt at humor, so I'm using the Toyota FT-86 Open concept that debuted at the 2013 Geneva auto show.