I was born the eldest son of sharecroppers on the island of Malta. As a child my parents abandoned me to follow Sergio Mendez on tour around the world. I eventually found myself in Seville, Spain, where I flunked out of barber college. I am now a well-known television personality, doing the voice-overs for Ricola cough drops.
In my spare time I like to derive fractal equations from food stains on my carpet.
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