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Everything you need to zombie-proof your life (pictures)

The zombies are coming, but our definitive guide to coasting through zombie Armageddon should keep you safe. It's all here, from a zombie-proof bike to death-scented cologne that keeps the undead at bay.

Amanda Kooser
Freelance writer Amanda C. Kooser covers gadgets and tech news with a twist for CNET. When not wallowing in weird gear and iPad apps for cats, she can be found tinkering with her 1956 DeSoto.
Amanda Kooser
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1 of 10 Tiger Log Cabins

Zombie-proof cabin

You hear low moaning and the shuffling of slow feet. No, it's not the line at the Apple Store on iPhone release day. That zombie apocalypse we've been hearing so much about is finally here. You're not worried, though. You have a concrete safe house, a zombie-proof bike, a survival kit and death-scented cologne to hide you from the undead. We've rounded up everything you need to coast through zombie Armageddon.

A log cabin might not sound like the most secure choice of safe houses, but you'll survive the end days in style if you own the $113,000 (£69,995, about AU$129,000) Zombie Fortification Cabin from Tiger Log Cabins. It offers all the creature comforts (Xbox, TV, toilet, microwave) you could want while also keeping undead creatures out thanks to reinforced windows, barbed wire, escape hatch and arsenal storage. Flame throwers, water cannons and search lights will cost you extra.

Tiger Log Cabins is ready and willing to stand behind its product by offering a 10-year anti-zombie guarantee. If you try to collect on that guarantee, you'll need to provide medical evidence of a genuine zombie outbreak. Fair's fair. At least you will have lived to tell the tale.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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2 of 10 KWK Promes

Concrete safe house

Many building materials haven't been tested for their ability to repel zombies. Wood doors can be smashed down. Windows are prone to breaking as undead hands bash against them. One material that's pretty much guaranteed to keep zombies away is concrete. If done right, they undead can't bite through it and they can't knock it down, even when traveling in great numbers.

Polish architect Robert Konieczny's Safe House is about as solid a structure as you'll find anywhere, making it ideal for sheltering from the zombie storm.

The Safe House, located in a small village near Warsaw, sports concrete walls that are 1.5 feet thick. One of the cooler features is a set of retractable exterior walls that form a courtyard for protecting the lower floor. It doesn't sacrifice views, but the wide windows can be sealed with aluminum shutters. It's a surprisingly stylish take on apocalyptic safety.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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3 of 10 In Case Of

Anti-zombie gear under glass

You never know when a zombie apocalypse might pop up, and that's half the fun. So you might as well be ready at all times to face the oncoming flood of undead. Be prepared with a special emergency cabinet from California retailer In Case Of.

The red cabinet is bright and easy to spot, so hang it somewhere prominent on a wall of your house. The instructions are clear: “In case of zombies, break glass.” The kit includes a zombie outbreak field handbook, a grenade, a shotgun, shotgun shells and a hunting knife. Just be aware that the kit contains no real weapons (just real-looking weapons) and won’t actually help you much in case of an actual zombie outbreak. That field guide could come in handy, though.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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4 of 10 Video screenshot by Michael Franco/CNET

Eau de Death cologne

One of the grosser survival methods on display in TV series "The Walking Dead" is living people slathering themselves with zombie blood and guts to walk undetected among the undead. It's messy and it's disgusting, but there is a better way. Chemist Raychelle Burks from Doane College in Nebraska created Death Cologne, a perfume so stinky, zombies won’t give you a second sniff.

The cologne is designed to smell like rotting corpses. Burks says the wretched perfume could be reproduced in great quantities and used to spritz down a lot of survivors. You will smell terrible, but that sure beats getting snacked on by rabid zombies.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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5 of 10 Travis Stevens

Zombie apocalypse guitar

One of the keys to surviving in a post-zombie world is keeping your sense of humor. If you can't laugh at zombies, what can you laugh at? Embrace the end times and show you're not afraid by rocking a zombie-themed electric guitar (assuming you have access to electricity to power your guitar amp).

The guitar from instrument hacker Travis Stevens is appropriately icky. There are bright red blood splatters on the pick guard, a grenade shape by the cutaway, ammo shells and little zombie heads coming out around the top. It doesn't matter if you even know how to play guitar. This axe could also easily double as an anti-zombie weapon in a pinch. Just grasp it near the headstock and swing for the head.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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6 of 10 Zombie Train

Train against zombies

Collecting tons of gear and gadgets will only get you so far when it comes to surviving a zombie outbreak. You still need to be a good shot to make use of your weaponry. It doesn’t hurt to get some zombie-hunting practice in, so you might want to consider booking a ticket to ride the Zombie Train in Sacramento, Calif.

The Zombie Train is a two-hour ride with an upgraded ticket option to wield a laser gun. Take aim at a crew of zombie actors chasing your train and do your part to save the survivors on board from a fate worse than death. Think of it as practice so you’ll be ready in case of a real undead Armageddon.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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7 of 10 Motopeds

Motorized zombie survival bike

If you're an avid watcher of zombie movies, you know that cars rarely work well as escape vehicles. What you really want is something more nimble, something like the Motopeds Survival Bike: Black Ops Edition. The Survival Bike comes in olive drab and will get between 80 and 120 miles per gallon, so you can you make the most of the remaining gas supplies.

What sets this apart from a regular motorbike is the thoughtful inclusion of extras like a compound crossbow ("Hello, Daryl!"), harpoon, blade saw, climbing rope, extra gas storage and a fancy lighting system so you can see the walking dead ahead. Hopefully, you'll be able to zoom right past them on your way to safety, but if you have to stop and fight, you'll be ready.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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8 of 10 ETA

Pedal through the apocalypse

UK insurance company ETA offers another two-wheeled transportation option for running from zombies: this bike designed to get from place to place and carve through the undead hordes at the same time.

The zombie-proof bike has a chainsaw mounted on the front. There's also a flame thrower, smoke-grenade launcher and a very useful hatchet mounted within easy reach. The modified mountain bike will be able to tackle uneven terrain and a splatter shield helps to keep the goo off you should you be forced to engage in zombie combat. Plus, you’ll get your exercise and stay fit to survive.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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9 of 10 OpticsPlanet

Preassembled zombie kit

Let's face it: Building your own zombie survival kit is a challenging prospect. There are so many things to consider, such as protective clothing, appropriate weaponry and lab equipment so you can search for a cure.

OpticsPlanet makes it easy on you by offering a $24,000 Z.E.R.O. (Zombie Extermination, Research, and Operations) Zombie Kit.

The kit includes everything from armored gloves to first-aid gear to a microscope. It also comes with a solar panel, hundreds of batteries, body armor, knives, a night-vision scope and something called an "Eotech Zombie Stopper Red Dot Holographic Sight." There’s too much gear to list here, but rest assured, you will probably need every last piece to survive, thrive and eventually conquer the zombie outbreak.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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10 of 10 Eric Mack/CNET

There's always Alaska

Location is an important factor in survival during a worldwide zombie epidemic. Do you want to be a crowded city while a fast-moving infection spreads through the populace? Of course not! Real estate site Estately ranked the states most and least likely to survive the zombie apocalypse. Sorry, New Jersey, you came in last.

If you're looking to relocate to the state most likely to help your ride through the waves of undead, then you better pack up the moving van and head for Alaska. It features plenty of military personnel, physically active people and folks with outstanding survival skills. Add that to a solid zombie knowledge base within the state and you’re most likely to find your safe haven in the land of sled dogs and salmon.

Related article: Zombie-proof bike built with chainsaw, other essentials

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