You're fired!
Steve Jobs was many things, including a genius, a renegade...and occasionally, a terrifying human being.
When Steve Jobs fired someone, he went big. When he gave the MobileMe boss the ax, he did it on the spot during a speech in Apple's auditorium full of employees.
"Can anyone tell me what MobileMe is supposed to do?" he asked. When the team answered, Jobs replied, "Then why the f*** doesn't it do that?"
Five-star hotel? Not. Impressed.
When Apple's Chief Design Officer, Jonathan Ive, booked Jobs a room in one of London's boutique, five-star hotels, Jobs wasn't having it.
"I hate my room. It's a piece of sh*t, let's go," he reportedly said.
"Everything you've ever done in your life is sh*t!"
When the Xerox Star computer failed in the early 1980s, Jobs decided to recruit one of its hardware designers, Bob Belleville.
"Everything you've ever done in your life is sh*t," Jobs said, "so why don't you come work for me?" Despite the low blow, Bob joined Jobs.
Pack up your hard drives and go home
Jobs apparently let a group of Pixar employees go without any severance pay. Early Pixar employee Pamela Kerwin pleaded that employees at least be given two weeks' notice. "OK," he said, "but the notice is retroactive from two weeks ago." BURN.
Team FDA
When Jobs was unsatisfied with how partner VLSI Technology was performing, he stormed into a meeting yelling that the team were "f***ing dickless a**holes," according to biographer Walter Isaacson.
After hearing about the incident, VLSI designed jackets with "Team FDA" on them.
"This is f***ed up."
Jobs didn't just insult his employees. He also criticized his friends. Colleague and friend Lee Chow got to witness Jobs' Hyde side just before the reveal of the "Bondi Blue" iMac.
"You guys don't know what you're doing. I'm going to get someone else to do the ads because this is f***ed up," Jobs reportedly said.
"Your commercials suck."
Jobs wasn't too keen on the iPad's original ad campaign. Disapproving of the first round of promo videos, he simply told the head of the campaign, "Your commercials suck... The iPad is revolutionizing the world, and we need something big. You've given me small sh*t."
No bonus for you!
Possibly one of the more known facts about Jobs is that he didn't do right by Atari partner and friend Steve Wozniak. Jobs denied Wozniak his share of a large bonus after they managed to finish the scaled-down version of a game together. Who needs friends when you've got Steve Jobs?
Taking no stock
Jobs never gave Daniel Kottke, one of Apple's first employees, stock options. Apple's vice president at the time, Rod Holt, said that he would match whatever Jobs was willing to offer Kottke.
"OK. I will give him zero," Steve replied.
"...there's no sex in them anymore."
When Jobs was fired from his own company (temporarily), he criticized key Apple executives, including Gil Amelio, in 1997 by saying, "The products suck. There's no sex in them anymore."
Amelio eventually resigned and Steve took the wheel once again.
Mirror revenge
An Apple employee wrote an email to Steve Jobs while he was at Pixar, imploring him, "Please, don't come back to Apple, you'll ruin it."
Steve's epic response? "You may be right. But if I succeed, remember to look in the mirror and call yourself an a**hole for me."
Blowing smoke
During a dinner in New York in the 1980s, Jobs supposedly showed his displeasure with a friend who was smoking at the table. Without even looking at the cigarette or breaking from conversation, Jobs reached across the table, picked up the burning cigarette from an ashtray, and dropped it in the smoker's half-full water glass.
Grocery grumbles
Jobs was infamous for his allegedly rude behavior at the local Palo Alto Whole Foods. According to an eyewitness, he once held up a checkout line for several minutes arguing with the cashier over a quarter.
Well, that was awkward
During a first job interview, Steve asked the candidate if he was a virgin, and how many times he'd taken LSD.
When the guy tried to deflect with a technical question, Jobs broke out with, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble."
"Your time is limited"
There are the occasional brilliant moments where Jobs encapsulated something truly beautiful and profound.
"Your time is limited," he once said. "Don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of another's opinion drown your inner voice.
"And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."
The last word
When all is said and done, Jobs' life was an inspiring story.
He created his "ding in the universe," as he once said. There are a barrage of additional quotes from Steve, but we'll leave you with this one:
"Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."