You know what I hate? When you bring out your iPhone to make a phone call or text somebody and the person you're with goes, "Ohhhhh look at THIS guy; Jimmy Fallon over here think he's cutting edge with his iPhone." I feel your pain, brothers and sisters, but our friends at ZweiPhone have a simple solution that'll fix our problem: a collection of stickers bearing an image of an obsolete phone designed to mask your embarrassingly commonplace iPhone.
ZweiPhone's motto is "Downgrade Today"--each sticker they sell is a convincing reproduction of some of the most hideous phones in history, including the Ericsson T28 and the ubiquitous Nokia 5190 brick phone.
They remind me of these stickers meant to keep your car safe by tricking thieves into thinking your auto is a pile. The ZweiPhone does the same thing, safely wrapping your "blank and impersonal iPhone" with a bulkier, older-looking clunker instead.
You can get a set of 14 ZweiPhone stickers for a dollar apiece, and they even offer posters featuring your favorite retro phones for $28. One sticker will do the trick for your personal phone, but feel free to give the other 13 to random strangers on the street who look just a little too timid to be using such a fancy gadget.