Young adults hardly ever walk, 'because of technology'
A UK survey suggests that those aged 18-24 walk only when they absolutely, positively have to. Yes, 25 percent walk only a mere 5 minutes every day.
Those colloquially known as grown-ups look down upon their youngers as lazy slobs, not deserving of the easy lives they lead.
They see them as lying in bed all day, their drapes permanently closed, their noses permanently buried in some technological device, ready to sext at a moment's notice.
May I present evidence to support this enlightened view?
Research in the UK suggests that those aged 18-24 have given up on what some regard as a life essential: walking.
The evidence revealed that a quarter of Britain's future adults walk for an average of only 5 minutes every day.
One assumes that this is to the fridge and back, to the fridge and back. However, parents in this survey were convinced that the reason for such indolence was, stunningly, technology.
Why walk to find a friend, when they're right with you in your little metal box? Why walk to mail a letter when you can send whatever you like from the comfort of your sheets?
The research, sponsored by the health insurer Bupa, threw up some fascinating psychology.
The young who eschewed walking gave, as their main explanation, "I don't have anyone to walk with."
It is, indeed, hard to go for a walk with a virtual friend.
Bupa, though, believes technology can also encourage people to walk. It said: "While technology can be blamed for making us less active, it can also be a part of the solution, as Bupa launches its Ground Miles app to spur people on and measure the distance they walk."
Well, of course. We'll help you with staying healthily self-obsessed. We'll encourage you to go out, walk, and see just what you can achieve all on your supreme lonesome.
Then you can defeat your fellow young men and women without ever having to meet them. Just do it.
An app a day keeps the doctor away.