Yikes! The Woz gets Karina

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has been paired with extremely fiery Karina Smirnoff in 'Dancing with the Stars.' Sparks will fly. The type you see before a major fire.

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak should now be preparing for the dancing equivalent of the Hindu walking over hot coals.

It has just been announced that in the new series of ABC's Dancing With The Stars he will be paired with the Ukrainian professional Karina Smirnoff.

Ms. Smirnoff is not someone who often suggests she has experienced satisfaction. Her primary expression is the one that says: "What the hell do YOU want?" She glares at critical judges as if they were aged drunken Latvians whom she has just seen emerging from a bordello.

She is no more forgiving of her amateur partners. The Woz can expect her to whip him with her eyes, test him with her demands and crush him with her displeasure. In the last series, Ms. Smirnoff had to cope with the two left stumps of restaurateur Rocco DiSpirito. She glowered at him as if he had presented her with spaghetti alla carbonfiber. Truly, this woman could scare the fishing shorts off Putin.

Oh, did I mention that the better couples go on tour afterwards? CC Southie 3

Her most successful partnership in the series has been with the occasional entertainer Mario Lopez. In truth, they deserved to win. When they were beaten by former NFL star Emmitt Smith and partner Cheryl Burke, Ms. Smirnoff appeared to be in the mood to incite a major international incident.

Personally, I have an immense fondness for her haughty naughtiness. But I am concerned that she has told producers that she doesn't want to stay too long in the series, as she has better things to do, such as organize her forthcoming wedding to fellow professional and pouter Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

I know that everyone here will be pulling for the Woz. The premiere is March 9. As most of you probably know, this is the day after one of the former Soviet Union's favorite dates--International Women's Day.

We can only hope that the Woz can pull it off for his newly appointed international dancing dominatrix.

 

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