Yes, Virginia, any idiot CAN file a lawsuit!

Apple a monopoly because it doesn't use WMA. Sure.

Congratulations, Stacie Somers of San Diego County! You're the first jackass of 2008!

Well, OK, technically, since the suit was filed on December 31, you're the last jackass of 2007. But as it's already prompted some very silly analysis that we'll have to deal with this year, we're going to put it on the 2008 books, nnkay?

The tip o' the old antlers on this one goes to a friend of the Macalope's who happens to be a lawyer (and a woodland gnome, incidentally), who forwards it on with the one-word summary "Crazy."

Well put, woodland gnome!

So, what's your beef, Stace?

It alleges that Apple has constricted the market by not enabling iPods to play content in the Windows Media Audio (WMA) format, Microsoft's copy-protection technology.

And how! This reminds the Macalope of the time he successfully sued Sony for using the Memory Stick instead of SD. And then the time he successfully sued Microsoft for using FAT32 instead of HFS. And then the time he successfully sued Hamilton-Beach because their cone-filter coffee maker only takes, well, cone filters.

The Macalope likes flat-bottom filters. They're flatter. On the bottom.

The suit contends iPod-owning consumers can only buy music from iTunes, an unlawful tie-in that violates U.S. antitrust laws.

Boy, that sure is true! It sure would be nice if we could buy music to play on our iPods from some other place -- like, say, a popular online retailer or an independent-friendly MP3 site.

Too bad.

Boo, Apple.

Down with our evil, oppressive overlord Steve Jobs.

Uh, yeah.

Well.

Good luck, Stacie Somers of San Diego County!

But you say, "Macalope, our system of jurisprudence is not based on luck, but on well-reasoned arguments based on the code of law and legal precedent!"

That is why the Macalope says: good luck, Stacie Somers of San Diego County!

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About the author

    Born of the earth, forged in fire, the Macalope was branded "nonstandard" and "proprietary" by the IT world and considered a freak of nature. Part man, part Mac, and part antelope, the Macalope set forth on a quest to save his beloved platform. Long-eclipsed by his more prodigious cousin, the jackalope (they breed like rabbits, you know), the Macalope's time has come. Apple news and rumormonger extraordinaire, the Macalope provides a uniquely polymorphic approach. Disclosure.

     

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