I am perplexed why an allegedly 60-year-old person would want to become the Largest Fontina at Yahoo.
But perhaps Carol Bartz has already hiked the whole of the Na Pali Coast in Kauai, perhaps she has done all the clothes shopping in Tokyo she ever wanted to do and perhaps she simply has no desire to experience flying cars or climbing Kilimanjaro.
So if she's looking for a vast Yahoo success to help clear her sinuses before she begins to issue severe orders, she should cast a happy eye at Yahoo Sports. They say imitation is a heartfelt form of flattery. In which case, the folks at ESPN pine in pain for Yahoo Sports.
When the, um, Worldwide Leader in Sports announced it was going to 'simplify' its web site, who might have guessed that this was code for 'Yahooify'?
If you remember the old ESPN site, it looked as if it had been created by someone whose primary recreation was recreational drugs. A veritable cokefest of commercialization clashed with bits of news that craved to be heard over the desperate visual and aural pinball.
The clarity of the layout suggests "Ah, yes" rather than "Boo-Yah". Even the type that delivers the latest news in the top right-hand corner bears a remarkable resemblance to Yahoo blue.
It's almost as if someone went into rehab and came out realizing that they were not worshiped by all the members of their target sex after all. It's as if ESPN was the Tyson who suddenly realized that Buster Douglas had knocked him to the Twilight Zone several hours ago.
It's as if the somewhat self-satisfied Mike Martz had suddenly bumped into the here's-how-it-really-is Carol Bartz.