When commenters lurch to these pages, their lightsabers raised even higher than their voices, they categorize phones in simple terms.
The Samsung Galaxy, is, in an Apple lover's eyes, a big, bad copy of an iPhone.
The iPhone, to everyone but an Apple lover, is merely a girlie gadget with all the technological sophistication of a 1980s Barbie.
How odd, then, that a piece of research has just appeared before my exclusive eyes to suggest that women prefer an iPhone.
The research, sponsored by cache-cleaning specialists KS Mobile, examined, among many aspects, whether there was a gender bias in phone choice.
A fulsome 45 percent of all the women questioned said that they preferred Apple as their mobile device provider. Just in case you wondered whether there might be some locational kinks here, I will disabuse you.
Apple was the king, or perhaps queen, in every region of America.
The only area in which another brand enjoyed supremacy was in one particular age group. Women aged 40-49 plumped for Samsung (36 percent), rather than Apple as their one true love.
For men, however, the tale is quite different. Their preferred provider is Samsung. Yes, gentlemen prefer a Galaxy over an iPhone, although not in quite such severe numbers as the women.
The top percentage among men was Samsung's 33. However, again there was one outlying age group that didn't want to go along with the male crowd. Men aged 50-59 preferred Apple (34 percent).
Overall, Apple was the preferred brand of 39 percent of the respondents, with Samsung still 10 points behind.
It is, perhaps, no surprise that these were the two brands that dominated people's lists.
However, one statistic ought to give hope to MicroNokia and other brands that might aspire as they perspire.
Twenty-five percent of these 1,000 respondents didn't have a favorite mobile brand. (The survey was conducted online from February 6 to 10.) More precisely, this was made up of 27.3 percent of the men and 23.7 percent of the women.
That is surely a huge market, whose heart has not been captured and is clearly ready for love.
Just to show you how great a chasm exists currently between some brands and true consumer affection, in this research a mere 3 percent of respondents said that Nokia was their preferred brand.
Still, Nokia came ahead of BlackBerry (2 percent) and Microsoft (1 percent).
When you think of how many phones seem to be produced and reviewed almost daily, it's quite sad that so many of them inspire little to no enthusiasm.
Perhaps engineers and marketing departments ought to huddle more closely and examine what people love and why they love it.
Otherwise, Judge Lucy Koh will spend her whole life listening to Apple and Samsung lawyers drone on about their ultimate righteousness.