I live in an area where people spend money to make their lips more fish-like, their faces more teen-like, and their torsos more model-like.
The result is that they look zombie-like and plastic surgeons own a lot of yachts.
So, I understand the self-conscious impulse of a New York woman who reportedly spent $3,000 on making her hands look prettier.
However, 33-year-old Christa Hendershot apparently has a very specific reason for beautifying her hands. She wants her engagement selfies to be the perfect hand-a-shots.
As ABC News reported Thursday, Hendershot believed that her hands were excessively veiny and red. So, she turned to Dr. Ariel Ostad in New York and asked him to offer some surgical toning.
So great, it seems, is the need to have socially networked photographs that are the apogee of perfection that people are prepared to spend significant sums to achieve it.
Ostad told ABC News: "I've noticed over the last six months (that) patients actually bring a selfie in the examining room. They show me what bothers them and what they would like to fix."
One stray thought that might bother some is that if you don't like your hands, you don't need to take a thousand selfies of them wearing the ring. You could just photograph the ring. Perhaps that's too rational. Perhaps that just doesn't inject enough self into self-expression.
I've reached out to Ostad to ask whether he's ever tried to dissuade someone from having the surgery, as their hands were just fine, or if he's concerned that the hands he's creating are generically beautiful rather than characterful.
Hendershot isn't even the first to undergo surgery for the perfect engagement ring selfie. Some women reportedly believe their hands are too "boyish," for example, and get a "hand lift."
However, Hendershot's $3,000 seems little when compared to the $15,000 spent earlier this year by Tirana Lavey, who believed that her nose simply wasn't selfie-friendly. Her old nose, that is.
I wonder whether, in post-selfie America, there will be a sudden surge toward allowing yourself to age with grace. If clothes can become vintage and therefore more stylish and chic, why can't human features?