With disappointments like these, who needs successes?

The iPhone one of the year's big disappointments according to PC World.

Will someone please page the lithesome yet strong-handed nymphs whose job it is to massage the furry one's scalp right between the antlers? The Macalope's got a headache again.

What's causing it this time? PC World's 15 Biggest Tech Disappointments of 2007 (motto: "It's not another lame top-10 piece if we have 15 items!").

The Macalope doesn't have a problem with most of the items, even Leopard. You just knew an Apple product was going to be on there somewhere -- they simply can't resist -- and Leopard probably did disappoint some people. While this furry beast's admittedly low expectations about Leopard were exceeded and he's had nary a problem with it, others reportedly have.

But the iPhone? If that's a tech disappointment, the Macalope hopes 2008 brings Apple a slew of similar disappointments. It'll be a banner year.

PC World itself admits that "the phone itself is pretty terrific". Oookay, so you don't so much have a beef against the iPhone. Then what's your beef by-product?

But AT&T's broadband service? Definitely second-rate.

Really? This broadband service? Or maybe you mean this one. Are you at all familiar with the definition of "definitely"?

The $600 price tag -- which soon dropped by $200 and then was followed by a $100 quasi-rebate -- didn't help.

What about the fact that it makes every other cell phone look like ass? Did that help?

"I think the biggest debacle of 2007 is the iPhone pricing bait and switch," says Peggy Watt, a PC World contributing editor and professor of journalism at Western Washington University.

Wow! That's some statement! Which is to say, that's some absurd statement with little to no basis in fact!

First of all, Peggy, a bait and switch is when you get someone in the door by telling them the price will be lower than it is, not higher than it one day will be. Or you tell them they'll be getting a "professor of journalism" and then just give them an assistant professor of journalism instead. That's a bait and switch.

Second, how is dropping the iPhone's price and giving a rebate -- one that all but quenched the outrage -- possibly a bigger debacle than this one, which improbably didn't make PC World's list?

You're entitled to your opinion, assistant professor Peggy. It just happens to be wrong.

"People do expect tech prices to drop, but not as quickly as the iPhone did. Apple's response was pretty lame, too; a partial credit that couldn't be used for a lot of popular items (such as iTunes)."

Uh, yeah, that would be pretty much the only item it couldn't be used for.

Customers may not redeem their store credits: (1) at any iTunes Store in the United States or elsewhere, (2) Apple Store locations outside the United States; (3) at Apple resellers; (4) for cash; (5) to purchase Apple Gift Cards, or,iTunes Store Gift Certificates, to give iTunes Store content as gifts, or to create iTunes Store allowances; or (6) as payments on Apple accounts. Customers may not resell, transfer, or otherwise assign the credits.

Unless you count cash as a "popular item". Which, the Macalope supposes, it is seeing how popular it is with masked bandits. Other "popular items" you couldn't use an iPhone rebate for are liquor, anabolic steroids and hookers. Which probably explains why the Macalope has heard that Jose Canseco never cashed his in.

But, c'mon, PC World. If you really felt you had to put in two Apple products because you had three Microsoft products, you easily could have picked the Apple TV and no one would have thought twice about it. The horny one knows you're PC World, but listing the iPhone as one of the year's biggest tech disappointments just makes you look stupid.

Er.

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