Editor's note: CNET News does not endorse Stephen Colbert and has no formal opinion on whether Kanye West needs to be humbled.
Comedian Stephen Colbert has an army and I'm in it. Together, we got a bridge in Hungary named after him (though to be honest, I didn't actually vote; I helped my team in spirit from the comfort of my couch). Colbert had an eagle named after him. He's helped countless candidates for office with his undeniable "Colbert Bump." He even got Apple to send him an iPhone simply by holding out his hand to the camera screen day after day and saying, "I want."
But now Colbert wants something else, and as a die-hard fan I am worried he might not get it. How would our beloved leader handle defeat? I'm not sure.
If you caught his show on Monday or Tuesday you know he is asking for the Colbert Nation to go on iTunes today at exactly 5 p.m. EST to purchase his album, A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All. Currently, Kanye West has the No. 1 album on iTunes and Colbert is peeved. (His is No. 15.) Thus, he wants us all, at one moment, to collectively catapult his album to the top. It's not to help Colbert, he insists, but to humble Kanye.
He said, "I want boots on the ground, and do your Twitter blogging to each other and get it all together--whatever you kids do. It's important."
Now, here's the thing: I adore this man, but I also watched his Christmas special, and as much as I love Fountains of Wayne (bassist Adam Schlesinger composed the songs for the show), I found it rather, well, OK. Jon Stewart's song was hilarious, but the rest? Maybe not worth staying up for, especially not a whole month before Christmas.
So, as much as I want to do my part, I'm really not sure I can throw down any money to buy this DRM-laden album I'm sure I'll never play. I mean, we're in a recession--we're lucky to have the
stolen music we already downloaded.
My question to you is: Are you going to log on to iTunes today to help Colbert catapult his album to No. 1? Or are you, like me, just going to hope it happens without you actually having to purchase, yes, a Christmas album on which Willie Nelson sings to the baby Jesus about the joys of weed?