The world seems hell bent on remaining 12 years old.
There are some good reasons for this, such as adults constantly proving that adulthood is incompetence basking in the rays of power.
So instead of making mental progress, we disappear into our phones and express ourselves with words and smiley faces.
Sometimes, though, mere texts aren't enough, mere emoji seem not to offer us the excitement that they used to.
Here then, my child, is ubertxt. Lord knows you've been waiting for something like this for at least 15 days -- something that makes your new iPhone 5C an even happier place to live.
Ubertxt offers the ability to make your texts seem as heartfelt as cotton candy bought for you by someone close to your soul.
Its creator, Teresa Rucinski, told me that there's nothing quite like it. Creators tend to believe that.
She said: "The closest competition would be color text messaging apps on App Store such as Color Text, Pimp My Text. However, they only offer standard/generic wallpaper animated backgrounds at best."
Honestly, if you're going to make your texts exciting, it's personally shameful to use generic wallpaper, isn't it? What does that say about you? That you're sad and that you're prepared to use an app with "pimp" in its name.
Just imagine, with ubertxt your "OMG" SMS can seem like it came out of the palette of Picasso. Or, at least, from the needle of your local tattoo artist.
Rucinski told me: "ubertxt is the only app to offer animated/MOVING text, professionally designed animated templates/backgrounds, and custom photo & GIF functionality."
Note the caps used for "MOVING." If she could have animated her e-mail, I know she would have done.
If you haven't secretly dreamed of animating your texts, then you're not a modern human. And, yes, you can even insert your emoji into ubertxt. How meta is that?
I know that such things can catch on like wildfires after a drunken night out camping. Indeed, ubertxt is already racing up the App Store charts in the appropriate categories.
You will be wondering whether Rucinski is 17 years old and this is her high school art project.
She went to Harvard and used to work for Google.
Clearly, she has a belief in -- and an understanding of -- your inner child. You know, the one that, with the help of technology, has become your outer child.