Wait, Subarus start themselves without your permission?

It seems there's a mass recall of Subarus because they have a mind of their own. Apparently, the remote starter can go haywire if you drop the key fob.

One of the affected vehicles. Subaru

The adoration of Subarus has passed me by.

To me, they seem like very efficient mailboxes, driven exclusively by people who want to prevent the world from coming to a swifter end.

However, my mind is being altered by the notion that these cars are actually possessed of their own consciousness.

As evidence, may I reveal that 47,419 of them are being recalled, in order to be lobotomized and returned to their former passive state.

As USA Today recalls it, dropping the key fob on many Subarus released from 2010 to 2013 causes them to come to life.

Spontaneously. Willfully. Perhaps even in the middle of the night.

The key fob, you see, has a built-in remote starter. When it bangs its little head on the ground, it might begin to behave erratically.

There is more than one type of remote engine starter and the one affected is the Audiovox, which is attached to 2010-2013 Outbacks and Legacys, 2012 and 2013 Imprezas, and 2013 XV Crosstreks.

Clearly, it can be very annoying if your car starts up and stays on until the battery dies.

But, if we are to expect cars to be self-driving, there's something quite fascinating about them having characters of their own.

Imagine your car going into a sulk, if it feels you've been treating it a little boisterously of late.

Or, even better, what if your car refused to start because you hadn't washed it?

Just as we are turning into machines, there is something glorious about our machines becoming ever more human.

 

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