Scientists are training spiders to jump on command and f*** this

Researchers have trained a spider named Kim to jump six times her body length to work out how to build better "micro jumping robots ."

Goodbye, half of our readers.

A team at the University of Manchester measured the movement of a 1.5mm-long (0.6-inch) Regal Jumping Spider using high-speed cameras, tracking the way the spider made short and long jumps from a standing start.

In total, the spider could jump six times its body length (humans max out about 1.5 times their body length).

The researchers found spiders use hydraulic pressure to extend their legs and that the force on their subject spider at take-off was five times her body weight. They also discovered Kim was more comfortable jumping lower rather than higher, confirming your fears that, yes, there's a spider above you ready and willing to jump at all times.

In a video that is both the most terrifying and most adorable thing you will see today, you can also see how spiders attach silk to their jumping surface as a safety tether.

The research team also built a tiny robot to match the spider's jumping ability, but found "power and control electronics cannot compete with nature at this scale yet."

Well that sounds ominous.

Here's a video. OK, now good night forever.