Time Warner CEO: Web porn eating our profits

The CEO of Time Warner moans that free Web porn is adversely affecting the profits the company makes from porn.

Cable companies have long since been adept at profiting from man's weakness.

They charge people for movies, knowing that so many families have little time to head out to movie theaters.

They would also charge heavily for porn movies, knowing that, late at night, some people struggle to get to sleep.

I am sure, therefore, that you will shed a long, drippy tear for Time Warner. According to AllThingsD, the company is feeling the pain of making far less money out of all things kinky.

You might take some illicit pleasure from groaning words emerging out of the luscious lips of Time Warner CEO Glenn Britt.

He told AllThingsD: "One of the things going on with VOD is that there's been fairly steady trends over some time period now for adult to go down, largely because there's that kind of material available on the Internet for free. And that's pretty high margin. That's been not just this quarter, but going on for some time period."

The Time Warner Building in Columbus Circle. I think of it as shopping porn. CC DoorToRiver/Flickr

When adult goes down, it's hard to find another area of your business that might go up. But perhaps one ought to remember just how much cable companies tried to make out of man's susceptibility to the filmic acts of the nubile and naked.

I thought I'd turn on my own Comcast cable guide to see what these things cost.

So "Hot and Horny Girls Touching" will set you back $9.99, plus fees and taxes. It is one hour long and may involve only touching.

"Exposed: Sorority Sweeties" will cost you $10.99, plus fees and taxes. It is also one hour long, and the degree of exposition is somewhat unclear.

"Wet Beach Booty" is $11.99, plus fees and taxes, the even higher fee perhaps explained by the fact that it is a full 90-minute spectacular and perhaps is even shot at a beach. Oh, and in case you were wondering about "Bros Luv Big Racks," it is the same length and price, but I cannot confirm it is merely 90 minutes of bros talking about their love of big racks.

With fees such as these, is it difficult to see why many are drifting toward the Web's free offerings? Time Warner said the shriveling of its adult income represented a third of its drop in profits.

I wonder why anyone would still pay for porn on their TV. It surely can't be because they respect the quality, can it?

 

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