Thirsty for some Google?

Start your joke engines.

Google got into the spirit of April Fools' Day, offering up its newest product: Google Gulp, "a line of 'smart drinks' designed to maximize your surfing efficiency by making you more intelligent, and less thirsty."

Google Gulp Beta

The soft drinks come in four flavors: Glutamate Grape, Sugar-Free Radical, Beta Carroty and Sero-Tonic Water. Each bottle has an embedded DNA scanner that can read 3 gigabytes of the drinker's base pair genetic data "in a fraction of a second, fine-tuning your individual hormonal cocktail in real time using our patented Auto-Drink technology."

And don't worry about the company doing funny things with your DNA data. The information gathered is wirelessly sent to the "GulpPlex," a "heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to (Google CEO) Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist."

Google Gulp is currently in beta.

Bottoms up!

 

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