Thirsty for some Google?
Start your joke engines.
Google got into the spirit of April Fools' Day, offering up its newest product: Google Gulp, "a line of 'smart drinks' designed to maximize your surfing efficiency by making you more intelligent, and less thirsty."
The soft drinks come in four flavors: Glutamate Grape, Sugar-Free Radical, Beta Carroty and Sero-Tonic Water. Each bottle has an embedded DNA scanner that can read 3 gigabytes of the drinker's base pair genetic data "in a fraction of a second, fine-tuning your individual hormonal cocktail in real time using our patented Auto-Drink technology."
And don't worry about the company doing funny things with your DNA data. The information gathered is wirelessly sent to the "GulpPlex," a "heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to (Google CEO) Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist."
Google Gulp is currently in beta.