The world's varying tastes in online porn

A compilation of porn-related search terms used around the world reveals that Montanans are into "compilations." The alleged popularity of gay porn in Iran might surprise too.

Kim Kardashian appearing recently in Nigeria. She's known as a porn star there? SoulMuzikOfficial/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Sometimes here at Technically Incorrect, one has to operate with eyes wide shut. This is one of those times.

For I have been forwarded an infographic about various Internet searches around the world related to online porn and ordered to discuss it. By someone who, no doubt, is wearing extremely slippery leather.

This infographic claims to show the most popular search terms related to porn that are entered around the world, and I am grateful to BuzzFeed for buzzing me into it.

It was prepared by PornMD, a search engine of which I had previously been unaware. This is not a pictorial infographic. Though, should you choose to view it in more detail, it does include some words with which you may not be familiar.

I wish merely to focus on some salient demographic nuances that emerge from these tables.

Firstly, I wish to address Montana. For included in PornMD's work is a state-by-state analysis. This reveals that Montanans' number one search is for "compilations."

It's as if they've become wise to the well-worn formulas of pornography and wish merely to view the highlights.

On the other hand, North Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma are most keen on an activity that I believe does not require a trip to the dairy cabinet of your supermarket. Ah, whatever happened to Kansas?

By contrast, Texas, Wyoming, Missouri, and Colorado are most keen on teens. As it were.

I had imagined that New York's most searched term would have involved defiantly single-person action. Surprisingly, it's "college."

When one looks at the results from abroad, though, one really wonders whether Americans know these countries well at all.

Hark at Iran. There, at number four, lurks "daddy love (gay)." And at number six resides "hotel businessman (gay)."

I had been under the impression that Iran doesn't actually contain gay people -- at least if you believe its rulers -- so these findings do affect my predispositions.

It's remarkable how the names of famous people appear in various countries' Top 10. At number six in Russia is the world-renowned "Sasha Grey." However, in Nigeria, both "Eva Mendez" and "Kim Kardashian" break into the Top 10.

South Africans seem like strange people, if you go by this information. They are most keen on "hidden cam." And at number ten lies "poop."

Australians, though, are simply patriotic. Their most popular porn search term is "Aussie (gay)."

I don't wish to draw deep conclusions from this data. I wish merely to marvel at the varying needs of human beings the world over to get some respite from their own unsatisfactory lives.

Though their boats may be floated by different people, activities, or objects, their yearning for some sort of online excitement seems permanently unabated.

 

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