I woke up this morning, dreaming of the In-N-Out Burger that will be my Valentines meal, to discover serious accusations about love's labors lost.
In a quite pulsating treatise on CNN.com, experts were blaming an increase of one-night standing on technology.
Yes, apparently it creates sexual tension. Apparently, technology encourages you to offer sexual banter even before the first date. So, by the time you encounter the person in real life, you've already created the preconditions for a bedtime ending.
Verbal and romantic intimacy is being sacrificed on the altar of truncated messages, delivered with staccato urgency.
Some might find it slightly amusing to hear relationship expert Linda Berman offer to CNN that the texting generation risks "a lot of miscommunication, a lot of conflict, a lot of divorces."
Somehow, previous generations managed vast amounts of miscommunication, conflict, and divorce, enough to fill decades of Hollywood movies. And this without even e-mail. Can it be possible that texting and the like make it worse? Or does technology simply get the worst over with more quickly?
For myself, I'm more amused by the texting lexicon of love that CNN unearthed. Though I occasionally encounter touching abbreviations, I wasn't aware, for example, that "TD2M" meant "Talk Dirty To Me." Nor that "RYS" was the simplest modern form of asking is someone is single.
Who could imagine that someone writing "LH6" was actually suggesting that you have sex with him or her? A more sensitive version is, apparently, "D46?". Yes, "Down For Sex?"
Astonishingly, some people even text "GYPO," meaning "Get Your Pants Off". I cannot be sure if etiquette reserves this acronym for those on their way to one's house or those who wish to indulge in a little sexting. Perhaps it is both.
Who could possibly believe that someone might text "ICFILWU"? Yes, "I Could Fall In Love With You" is the translation.
To some eyes and hearts, this form of language might seem cold. Its sheer brevity might make it appear emotionally indifferent.
However, perhaps it is merely a crowdsourced attempt to create a new form of communication when, let's face it, the one full of hearts, flowers, chocolates, and poetry doesn't seem to have been a stunning success over the last few hundred years.