The technical joy of Burger King's hands-free Whopper holder
In a feat of engineering that has to be seen to be fully admired, Burger King in Puerto Rico gives away 50 holders, so that you can eat while you drive, play the guitar, or perform vital surgery.
Your cell phone has shown your hands that they can be free.
You can talk into it, while scratching your face, driving your car, or conducting the New York Philharmonic.
Purveyors of fast food have been slow to offer you a similar sense of liberty. Conduct the Philharmonic while trying to eat a Big Mac, and it will be a messy experience for both you and the lead viola.
Burger King wants to redress your balance. It has created a holder in which you can slip your Whopper and leave your hands free to do what they must.
I am permanently indebted to Creativity Online, which describes how Burger King's Puerto Rican arm freed those of 50 very fortunate members of its Frequent Chompers Club.
Actually, the company seems to merely call it a loyalty program.
The holder seems not unlike that used occasionally by Bob Dylan to house his harmonica. Still, what a beautiful way to celebrate your 50th anniversary.
Many will admire, for example, the gentleman in the video who is finally free to wave his lightsaber around, while placing his mouth into succulent cheese and patty.
Even more, perhaps, will marvel at the concept of being able to have full control of their Xbox, while feeding themselves pure goodness.
This obviates the need for intravenous feeding, which I know several gamers have resorted to over the years.
Some, though, might be worried at the scene in the tattoo parlor.
It is well-known that crumbs and even pieces of vegetation occasionally fall from even the finest burgers.
What if one fell toward your arm as you were being tattooed and, well, somehow embedded itself there, pressed inside by the point of the needle being held by a marginally distracted Whopper-eater?
Might that thought have ruined your digestion? I do apologize.