The new PCs specially designed by women for women
What do women want? When it comes to a PC, that is. Fujitsu believes its new Floral Kiss brand is the answer. Yes, the Floral Kiss PC.
It's odd how women are often lumped into one homogenous group.
You know, like men, wolves, or southerners.
We're supposed to believe that all women think alike, act alike, and, of course, emote alike.
Yet it's not as if women are generally seen to be using a different sort of PC from men. They tend to lug around the same equipment.
The vastly sensitive brains at Fujitsu have decided this prejudice must end. Which is why there is now the Floral Kiss.
In a press release that glows with the pink flushes of nascent joy, Fujitsu declared: "Based upon the design concept of bringing elegance to PCs, Floral Kiss is a new series that was planned and developed primarily under the direction of female employees."
PCs, you see, have never had elegance. Those MacBook Airs are nothing more than clunky lumps of male-mangled metal.
The Floral Kiss, on the other hand, cares about your manicure. Please, I do not tease. For Fujitsu announced:
The top casing has been constructed with an elegant and refined gradation with gold trim, and it features a flip latch that can easily open the display -- even by users with long fingernails.
You see, many of you hadn't ever considered the trials and tribulations experienced by those with long fingernails. I feel sure that Apple's Jony Ive has nary given it a moment's thought.
But with the Floral Kiss, it's as if every last female need has been mulled over and satisfied.
For example: "The power button is adorned with a pearl-like accent, and the power status LED and Caps Lock key are decorated with diamond-cut stone for a sophisticated look."
It takes diamond-cut stone to create a sophisticated look. You didn't know?
It also takes a little gold: "An exquisite gold ring frames each key on the transparent keyboard, highlighting its elegant style. In addition, the outtake and intake vents all feature a floral motif design."
There is little more powerful than the magic of a gold ring.
I can feel you wondering whether the Floral Kiss comes with special feminine custom-made apps. But of course. The three that Fujitsu highlighted are: a scrapbook, a personalized diary, and -- no woman can be without this -- 12 daily horoscopes.
You need 12 horoscopes because, well, they're often created by men and men are so often wrong.
Fujutsu is offering an even more sophisticated version, created in collaboration with the jewelry brand Agete.
This positively fulminates with femininity. For it is purple.
Should you be unfamiliar with the vast significance of this, please let me point you to research that shows that people with purple beds have the most sex.
These Floral Kisses will only be available in Japan from November 2. Which is rather sad. There is such a desperate sameyness about so much technology -- whether it be cars or laptops -- that radical steps should always be welcomed.
Even if they involve gold rings.
I feel sure that Apple and Microsoft will immediately react to this commercial threat by releasing a MacBook Fair and a Surface Hair before the year is out.