The gloriously dark Super Bowl ad in which God's phone dies

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

After today's Super Bowl, Seattle Seahawks' quarterback Russell Wilson will be interviewed.

Should his team win he will, as he often does, declare that God is good, that God is the reason for the victory.

However, should the Seahawks get deflated by the New England Patriots, the question not asked will be: "Russell, why do you think God wanted you to lose? Have you secretly been doing evil things?"

There is, though, a new possibility for Wilson. He might, in the event of a loss, blame it on God's phone dying at a critical moment.

This inspiration is brought to me by a Super Bowl ad on behalf of mobile phone charger Mophie.

This sumptuously demented item shows a world that is ending. The infrastructure is crumbling. Dead fish are flying. There are blizzards in Africa. Yes, it's almost 2015.

The people are frightened beyond their wits. They don't know what to do. There is nowhere to run and hide. World, face your fate.

But why is the world ending? Because God's phone battery -- God's phone looks nothing like an iPhone, oddly enough -- is running down and he doesn't have a charger.

You see, the push to inculcate the Internet of Things has reached celestial heights. You thought the world was a random, natural place, where events occur through strange, dynamic impulses.

But no. God, like the rest of us, gave that all away for the sake of convenience. And here we are.

Interestingly, even in his most troubled moments, God doesn't swear. He merely says: "Gosh darn it."

I wonder if that's what Russell Wilson says when a vast lineman thrusts himself onto his chest.