The Geek in Review: 1/30 - 2/3

• Between this year's Super Bowl and last year's, any remaining Steagles fans must be in heaven. Stillers vs. 'Hawks for all the marbles this Sunday. Plus, expensive commercials. Last chance to make a vat of seven-layer dip and get your TV ready.

• It's getting harder and harder to tell the difference between rappers and computer viruses. This week's big security threat, the Kama Sutra worm--a.k.a. MyWife, Blackworm, Nyxem, CME-24, GREW, and Tearec--has more aliases than the Wu-Tang Clan, Kool Keith, and MF Doom combined. But yo, CME-24 better bring its A game to the mic next time, aiight? 'Cuz its debut joint was mad overhyped, son. For real. Ain't even on the same page as Sober, MyDoom, Netsky, or Sobig, nawmsayin'?

• Somewhere in a Motorola factory lies a dusty box filled with unused vowels. The company released its new iTunes phone this week, the semi-pronounceable Slvr, and Kent German says it's not too shabby. The Slvr joins Motorola's other vowel-challenged handsets, the Razr, the Pebl, the Rokr E1, and the upcoming Rokr E2. This disturbing naming convention suggests that Motorola execs live in a world ruled by Pat Sajak...a world in which vowels cost extra.

• The latest public beta of Internet Explorer 7 is available, and it's already catching hell from pretty much everyone in the world. Despite the fact that it looks and acts like everyone's favorite browser pal, Firefox, it seems IE 7 leaves a few security stones unturned. With the possible exception of the New York Yankees and George W. Bush, does an entity exist that gets criticized more for everything it does than Microsoft? It's almost enough to make you feel bad for them, until you learn that a special computer is needed to count Bill Gates's mad $almon$.

• Everybody loves the idea of an instant-on computer, but it's sadly not a reality yet. Still, you can minimize the time you spend staring at that blinking cylinder-shaped light* while your PC gradually boots up. We have a few tricks to cut your bootup time down significantly. And while you're at it, you might as well defrag your hard drive, bulk up your graphics card, and upgrade those tinny PC speakers to big-time 7.1 surround sound.

* What is that cylinder supposed to represent, anyway? A can of data? If you know, please post a comment below.