The best Tiger Woods online gift ideas
Somehow, many exciting and exacting entrepreneurs still try to make money out of Tiger Woods' woes. Here are some of the finest, led by one of Tiger's alleged lovers for BidHere.com.
As we all try to settle on our own definition of the word "enough," the enterprising work harder to stretch our definition.
Over the last days and weeks, I have been swamped with readers, friends, and some very strange people indeed sending me details of the latest attempts to make money out of Tiger Woods' fall from his graceful perch atop society.
So, in order to assist you with your final gift selections for the holiday season, I have created this post as a catalog of society's ingenuity.
In pride of place--or, as some might think, in place of pride--I have embedded the stunning new ad for BidHere.com. It features one of Tiger's alleged heart-stealers, Jamie Jungers.
Not content with rumors circulating that Jungers is in possession of naked pictures of the famous golfer, the delightfully blond-haired lady has performed in a quite breathtaking ad for online shopping.
Jungers explains that she can get brand-name products like Nikons and iPods at greatly reduced prices rather than go outside and "deal with the madness." Perhaps your Christmas madness is different from hers, but the way she deftly delivers each line of her script with passion and gusto will surely propel you to BidHere.com.
However, this is not the only attempt to commercialize a golfer's demise. Surely you, too, have considered gifting something from TigerCondoms.com.
The astute marketers from the people behind this venture, PracticeSafePolicy.com, issued a thoughtful press release: "With the holiday season in full swing, the clever and savvy jokers at Practice Safe Policy decided it is time for the people of this great nation to forget about minor concerns like the war, the recession, or health care, and instead focus on the truly important issue of the day: Tiger Woods's alleged transgressions."
However, if you think that perhaps a premium Tiger Woods URL might be the finest thing with which to stuff a stocking, then might you have $1 million to make an eBay bid for TIGER WOODS SECRET LIFE.com.
If this seems like a little too much, perhaps a wander along to GoDaddy.com might bring you a finer bargain. If I read GoDaddy correctly, you can get NewTigerWoods.com for a mere $10.69 a year. AngelTigerWoods.com seems to be going for the same price.
But wait. You could choose to go to ArtToShirt.com, where you will find some fine examples of humor upon cloth. For example, a T-shirt adorned with the picture of a woman chasing a golfer and the words: "In the Rough...Again...and Again...and Again." It's a mere $12.85.
Amazon seems to have lost a little faith in a Tiger Woods figurine showing him pointing a finger. It has been reduced from $14.99 to $5.99. His fist pumping figurine has also been reduced from $14.99, but only to $8.95.
If you still feel uninspired, perhaps you might go back to eBay and drool at the Tame The Tiger Woods Bobblehead Doll.
For a mere $29.95, you can get a uniquely designed bobblehead with some astonishing features: A golf club wrapped around the Tiger's head; a bent fire hydrant ("Fire Hydrant Bobbles too!"); a base that reads "Tame the Tiger"; a bent steering wheel next to the Tiger; and, goodness, the top of base that will resemble cracked asphalt.
Oh, gosh, I have just read the small print. The Tame the Tiger Bobblehead will be not be ready to ship until April 15. Some things can just make you feel sad, can't they?